Staying married in name only...

A couple weeks ago my husband decided our marriage was over. He cheated on me again. I'm not gonna pretend I was perfect. We got married young. I was 23. He was 19(before anyone gets the wrong idea, we met when he was 18. We just married quickly. I did NOT know him when he was a minor). I've always had a drinking problem. I may get hate for this but I didn't stop any of the times I got pregnant and some of my actions led to us almost losing our kids to CPS custody. My husband had an affair and came clean about it. He said I wasn't meeting his emotional or sexual needs. At that time we hadn't had sex in 8 months because I would go to work and then go get drunk. He would get off work get the kids and just be home with the kids and I'm drunk somewhere. We went to marriage counseling and a couple weeks ago my husband said he cheated again and the marriage is over for him. He said the marriage ended for him the day we went to marriage counseling and he thought we had a break through because I promised I would stop drinking and we were both crying. He apologized for the affair and he thought we were getting somewhere. We went out to eat with the kids and same day I left right after to go get drunk. He said it made him cry and he never cries but that was the day the marriage wss over and he's done. He made it clear he's not leaving the house. He doesn't care what I do. He's done and just gonna do what he wants and sleep with who he wants.

It's been a couple weeks and he's calmed down. We've talked. The marriage is still over for him but realistically we both know we can't survive separately. We both work full time and are still on government assistance. There's no way we could financially survive in separate households so at the moment we have decided to stay together in name only... It's just really depressing. For both of us. I know we've both fucked up in this marriage. I just wish THIS isn't how we ended up