Is it ok with you for your boyfriend to send a girl happy birthday?

Question

Back story: 
I clicked on his msgs and I saw he sent a girl a happy birthday text. Y’all this is not messenger! It’s his regular iPhone text messages. It does not notify you when it’s someone birthday like Facebook does. I just asked who she was because I had never heard of her before. He said she was a lab partner in high school which was 8 years ago. Me and him have been together for four years so I know exactly who hangs around and I’ve never heard or seen of her before. Anyways, the messages were like “happy birthday! Hope you have a good day :)” and she just said “thank you!” Then he says “do you have any plans for your bday today?”And she just ignored the message lol. He said the last time he saw her was in high school so I do think it’s a bit weird they haven’t spoken in 8 years and he would text her happy birthday and how does he even remember her bday in the first place if she was just a lab partner? Lol I asked him but he had no answers for me kind of shrugged me off 
In the past I have seen him msg girls from high school like saying how are you? And he gets left on seen. (They don’t respond back lol) 
But I didn’t look too much into it because I didn’t want to appear jealous. Should I just ignore this as well? Or is it 🚩? He does have platonic girl friends (like his buddies girlfriends) but I just genuinely have never heard of her until now and I know she isn’t friends like THAT with him or else I would’ve known about it. 
Just sucks cause I did want to marry him but now it’s got me thinking

Accepted Answer

He sounds thirsty, like he’s trying to initiate something with them and they’re completely ignoring him. Makes him look desperate. If they haven’t spoken in 8 years, there’s absolutely no reason for him to suddenly be concerned about her birthday.

Answer

Nope that’s a red flag 🚩 he’s not cheating but he’s definitely dipping his toes in the water and trying to initiate a connection so he’s open to cheating and if they gave him a chance he would have already, that’s cheating imo throw him away

Answer

It's literally a happy birthday message not like it's something sexual

Answer

I don’t think it matters. It’s a damn happy birthday.😂😂

Answer

While yes, it’s a possible red flag… however as a 40 year old women, I have never “accidentally” checked my husbands (or anyone else’s) messages. If you are going to call him out, be honest about intentionally going through his phone.

Answer

Honestly, this wouldn't bother me at all. It's nothing inappropriate. He's probably getting the notification that it's so-so's birthday and it will give you an option to message them. I think it's fine to have benign chats with people. I really don't think asking someone what they're doing for their birthday is anything nefarious. ￼

Answer

The weirdest part to me is that he has her phone number after 8 years 😅 Since you said it wasn’t Facebook messenger. But then again I don’t have any close friends like that so I don’t remember numbers unless it’s my family. 
I do see what others are saying that it’s just a happy birthday message. I think the problem isn’t that he said happy birthday but that he out of the blue texted her and has her number but you don’t know her. I guess that’s what has you thinking but I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it without having any proof of anything else. 
I get it though I get jealous over small things sometimes have to tell yourself to relax lol

Answer

Maybe they didn't like him in school. Or too lazy to text back just like me lol.
Its no big deal remembering peoples birthday. But now that I think about it the only peoples birthday I remember are close friends ,birthday mates and the ones I've once crushed on lol.
As long as you are not pregnant you can leave anytime you want without having to think about stuff or having to meet him again.(thats if he does anything unreasonable)

Answer

So overall texting someone happy birthday and asking if they have any birthday plans is completely normal. The fact that its been 8 years since they have talked (that you know of, you said hes the one that said that so its whether you believe him or not) is a tad weird but he could be "friends" with her on Facebook and got the birthday notification and texted her. What makes it weird is that you have caught him multiple times already texting other girls from his past. Messaging other people and keeping it from your partner until they find out about it is a form of cheating. Him being left on read is comical, but also sad. He is messaging other girls throughout your relationship testing the waters and seeing if they will talk to him and form a connection so he could inevitably step outside your relationship and covering it up by "oh I just said hi and they didnt respond so.its not cheating". IMO with it happening over and over theres still some kind of intent there. Now it would be different if he were also messaging guys that he knew before, then it would be more of an attempt to just reconnect with old friends but from your post Im going to assume that he isnt.

Answer

Idk, I say it’s weird

Is it ok with you for your boyfriend to send a girl happy birthday?

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