Am I being selfish?

I’m married, have had soo many miscarriages, been TTC for a long time…..and then I find out my older sister is likely pregnant from a one night stand? I’m upset, and I just question why her and not me? I actually want to scream and cry but I haven’t. Not yet. I’m over TTC. It’s clear God doesn’t want me to have another child and I just have to accept that.