Am I wrong?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been having a rocky relationship since Mother’s Day weekend I ended up stopping work due to the last day of school so I’ve been looking around for work for 2 weeks and I had a interview today and they told me they would let me know by tomorrow. I’ve worked part time ever since I worked. I wanted a full time job so I can bring in more money for our family. I was explaining the jobs to my boyfriend and he was just on his phone and I felt like he didn’t care or wasn’t listening so I didn’t say anything. Then I got a call from one of the jobs and told me I start Monday at 9am I was so excited so I told my bf I start Monday and he just said ok good. And then I mentioned to him that they are going to give me scrubs & he was just on his phone and didn’t say anything and I got mad because I’m talking to you and your on your phone . And I just said alright then and he goes what do you want from me? I just wanted him to be a little more happy that I’m finally going to work full time. And I just said your being an asshole and he got upset and said what do you want from me and I’m like I’m talking to you and your ignoring me. And he’s like I heard you. And then he told me to stay home since I want to call him an asshole. We had plans to take our daughter to his sisters house to get in the pool and he told me to stay home. I just saw the big picture and was excited that we will have more money coming in. And he told his mom he wanted me to work full time so I thought he would be a little more excited/happy.  Then he called me yelling at me saying I’m over dramatic and saying that when he got jobs I didn’t jump up and down. And he made it seem that I haven’t helped with bills or have been working he said I’m suppose to be helping out and suppose to be working I’m a grown women & it made me feel like it wasn’t enough . And I told him I was just really excited to tell you & felt like I was being ignored I’m just seeing the big picture like we can maybe finally move out . Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Answer

I’d be really peeved is this was the response my husband gave me. I don’t expect him to jump up and down, but I certainly expect him to put his phone down and actively listen to what I’m saying. That’s common decency in any scenario. He sounds immature.

Answer

No, that is a huge pet peeve of mine. If we are having a conversation, get off your phone and engage. It’s about mutual respect.

Answer

The biggest problem I have with all of this is something you said in your response to K. That he said if you dont like his response then pack your bags and get out. The other issue of the job response could be worked on. He could make an effort to put his phone down and respond better to you. Thats a conflict. Him telling you to pack up and leave is bordering emotional abuse. A 'my way or the highway, youre disposable to me, Im not willing to work on our relationship so just shut up or get out' mentality.....that reflects his character and lack of willingness to be a partner who problem solves, versus just a conflict over his job response, it's way deeper than this one argument. At the very least you need couples counseling because if kids hear comments like that, they feel unsafe and unstable (eg is mom going to leave? Are we going to remain in the home?) it isnt ok at all.

Answer

Sounds like he’s secretly jealous or insecure and therefore doesn’t like to see you happy. He likes to complain about your bad moments (like you not working) but doesn’t want to celebrate your good moments because it makes you look good and it doesn’t give him a reason to complain about or come at you. Also probably why he blew up the fight and told you to not go to your SIL’s - he doesn’t want you to talk about your new job or be around you while you’re happy. It might sound like I’m reaching (and I could be), but it’s actually common that the people closest to you are sometimes the least supportive of you.

Am I wrong?

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