Is my hatred for my bf’s father getting out of hand?

So the past few weeks i literally couldn’t go to sleep just because of my pure hatred for my boyfriend’s father. So i dont even know where to start, but here goes: i will call him J.

So when J divorced his wife (my bf’s mom), my bf was only 7 and he completely disappeared from my bf’s life. He never sent A SINGLE CENT of co-parental support money. So my bf grew up without a father figure. And when my bf turned 18, he was kind enough to try to rekindle his relationship with J and went to visit J in London. After a few weeks J then kicks him out of his house, saying my bf is old enough to support himself. And then a few months later, J goes bankrupt and had the audacity to couch in my bf’s apartment for few months before he could get a job again. He also borrowed a few grands from my bf, which he never paid back to this date. And then fast forward to years later, my bf becomes incredibly successful in his career and meets me. Only after he became successful, J attempts to reclaim his father title and starts acting all nice to my bf, inviting him over to his house and also hanging out. However every time my bf hangs out with J, he ends up emotionally DRAINED and exhausted because all J does is complain and complain about his misery and cry and treating my bf like an emotional dumpster. Also when they meet other people, J invites everyone to my bf’s house for a party without even asking his permission. So basically J has to be in the center of attention all the fucking time, in whatever the cost. When my bf brought me over to J’s house for the first time to say hello to him, the very first thing he said to my bf was “wow, your gf has such huge boobs and long legs for an asian”

So yea, this kind of sums up what kind of human garbage he is, uneducated, extremely rude, racist and sexist.

Also i find it extremely pathetic that in order to be in the center of attention all the fucking time, J uses his “connections” to get people’s attention. For example when he is with me, he would brag and brag non stop about his extremely rich “friends” who recently bought a flat in london that costs 2mil blah blah and how he can help us with his “connections “ 🙄 and when we were attending his cousin’s wedding together, he sat down in front of a group of total strangers, and within 5 minutes everyone knew how he survived cancer and how well established my bf is and how educated and smart i am etc etc.

Also the thing i cannot stand the most is the fact that even after all these years of almost losing his father son relationship, he has not changed one bit. He still treats my bf like a doormat and he doesn’t understand that the whole relationship is under my bf’s mercy because he is too kind to just abandon him. When J was diagnosed with cancer and his doctor told him he has to lose weight because he is severely obese and that will hinder the cancer treatment, J blamed my bf for not searching for gyms for him. And when J suddenly decided to be gay and wanted to marry his bf, he was completely dependent on my bf for EVERY paperwork and bureaucracy regarding the marriage because he was “too old for that shit” let me remind you J’s new bf is younger than his fucking son.

Whenever he had problems in life he would call my bf and start crying like a fucking baby because he knows my bf is too kind to just ignore him, but when things are good and they decide to hang out together, J would abandon my bf immediately when he had other, new, more exciting events. Also, during Christmas or my bf’s birthday, he would gift something expensive his rich friends gifted him before and brag about it, or he would give me some pile of really really old, fugly clothes from an old stock of his now failed business, that is clearly unwearable.

The most annoying thing is that, J knows how MY parents treat my bf. Although my parents are not rich, they always treat my bf to somewhere fancy on a dinner night out, they are always extremely polite and respectful and they would gift my bf something really thoughtful and new and expensive. My parents are COMPLETELY POLARIZING OPPOSITE to my bf’s parents, who are extremely irresponsible, immature, ignorant rude, while my parents are EXTREMELY responsible mature, respectful, both very very highly educated. This is an objective fact that both me and my bf agrees. Like i cannot even imagine J being ANYWHERE near my parents in the future if we were to get married, like even thinking of inviting J to my wedding itself stresses the f out of me, thinking about how he would cause trouble and how he would make that day all about him etc.

Although he is a terrible person he was never directly mean to me or whatever, so i cannot really openly hate him. So do you think my hatred is justified or am i just too hateful?