I really don’t know where to begin.. I’m so emotionally stressed out I pray each day that I deliver a healthy baby and run for the hills when he’s born. From the very beginning of my relationship everything was perfect literally the dates the affection the care, and then I got pregnant in 2020 and that’s when I started seeing the red flags. If I could name everything he’s done we would be here all day. I’m so done with how charming he is to everyone on the outside looking in but behind closed doors he’s the literal devil. If I cry he walks pass me and act like i don’t exist, if I tell him how I feel? He doesn’t care. He hurts me with his silence for days. He says hurtful stuff out his mouth. He lies about everything. None of this was happening when I first dated him a few years ago. He proposed to me and I thought things were going okay until I realized he was lying to me about females behind my back or just lying in general . He made me believe he would actually get help this time around since I’m having baby number 2 . He made an appointment for couples therapy last week and he canceled the day of because he said “ he’s not in the mood “ .

Tonight I actually lost my mind and got physical with him. And I regret it so bad because my toddler was home. And I shouldn’t have did that at all. All i could remember was I came to him asking him how come all day he’s been ignoring me and telling him how hurtful that is. And he responded saying “ I hate when you’re here“. That truly hurt me to my core . That’s when I blacked out .

I never actually thought I would ever be in a relationship like this where they love bomb you in the beginning and then you start to see them for who they really are. I kept believing that he would actually get help and he didn’t. He doesn’t even care about the type of stress he’s been giving me during this pregnancy. All I could think about now is my escape plan when my son is born smh I don’t want them to grow up seeing this unhealthy environment . The amount of times my toddler saw me cry and held my face and said “ mommy it’s gonna be okay “ break my heart because he’s only 3 he doesn’t know why I’m breaking down but he knows mommy feels hurt . I never would’ve imagined being in this situation. I’ve been going to therapy and even my therapist said it sounds like I’m in an emotionally abusive relationship.

The messed up part is we live together and if I wasn’t this far in my pregnancy I would’ve moved out of state already, where I actually wanted to raise my family. I just don’t see how I can live with him until I give birth smh