I’ve always found my partners mum extremely overbearing. We aren’t married therefore I don’t relate to her as MIL Incase you are wondering.

Before we found out we were expecting our little girl, she would phone myself and my partner 20 times a day asking us to do something for her. If my partner said he couldn’t as busy, she would keep phoning and phoning until he eventually done it. That annoyed me at first. We then found out we were pregnant and we told just our parents at 6 weeks. We wanted to wait to tell aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents etc until we had our 12 week scan as I had previous miscarriages and was taking each day at a time. As soon as we told her she wanted to tell her friends which we asked her not to do until family knew, but she still done it anyway. My partner was also going to tell his brother the following day but she told him that evening. She took that moment away from my partner telling his brother which i found completely out of order as our news.

There was lots of little things throughout the pregnancy too that annoyed me but the major things for me is when we had our daughter. I put my mum down as a second birthing partner, she wasn’t in the room with me giving birth but I atleast wanted to know she could come straight up after I had her and not having to wait until visiting times. It was also because I knew I was going to be in pain and I wanted my mum.

As soon as we had our daughter and got taken to recovery, my partner told me his mum was on her way over even tho she knew she wouldn’t be allowed in until visiting times and used the reason “but her mum is allowed so just say I’m her mum until she’s over and let me in”. I get she was excited I totally do but I was annoyed that she knew this whole time that my mum was coming over first to more so help me change, shower, toilet etc.

Later that evening it was visiting time and my parents were there, they got to hold our daughter but a midwife came round to do our observations and told us our daughters temp was low and she needed to be kept in the crib, wrapped up and a blanket over her for 1 hour before they checked her over again. I really wasn’t good after my labour as I had 3rd degree tears and had to get a blood transfusion. I was crying the full time as I was in so much pain. His mum and brother then came to visit whilst our daughter had to stay in the crib, therefore we advised them if they waited until we get the all clear her temp is normal again, then they can hold her. But in amongst this time I had to get my bed changed as I was bleeding really heavy and asked the midwife to tell everyone but my mum and partner to leave the room, as why would I want them seeing my blood covered sheets and pj’s? 15 minutes later I felt extremely sick and started projectile vomiting everywhere. My mum politely asked everyone to leave the room and she rubbed my back whilst I was being sick.

My partners mum came back into the room and said she wanted to go home and let me rest. Little did I know as soon as she got in the car as my partner was driving her home, she proper kicked off and said “I had to leave the room twice and didn’t get to hold my granddaughter”. I get it was rubbish she could hold her but it was doctors orders and why would I want her in the room when I’m bleeding and being sick. She spent the next 2 days whilst we were kept the hospital, phoning my partner 20 times a day asking when she could come up and hold her because she felt left out. The evening we got out of hospital we made sure she was first up and got to hold her. The following morning she phoned my partner annoyed because the picture he took of her wasn’t nice and she wanted another. So she came over the following day with full glam makeup on and said “take it nice this time”. As you can imagine the full week we had lots of visitors and his mum phoned us everyday asking to come over. We understood she was excited as it was her first grandchild but we also wanted our space to take everything in and we also had other family coming to meet her. She would take a strop everytime we politely said no.

5 days old she asked to take our daughter on public transport and to a busy shopping centre which we said no as she’s still too small and we hadn’t taken her out yet, but said she could still come see her.

2 weeks past and she hasn’t contacted asking to see her.

My partner then met up with his friends and they all met at his mums house to which one of his friends asked how it felt to be a grandmother and she responded with she wouldn’t know as we never let her see her or take her a walk. My partner was furious, we politely rejected no twice as we wanted our time and also other family coming over. She then said her work colleagues think we are bad people for not letting her take our 5 day old daughter out a walk. It was now 3 weeks by this point but she hadn’t asked since and was using this once she asked against us. She also said I was very awkward about visitors and need to “get a grip”.

My partner forgave her after 1 week but I still can’t forgive her for humiliating us infront of people like this, especially me! Ever since then she has been making snide comments about “her mum sees her more than me”, “why is her mum over today but I’m not”. It feels like a competition. My partner does anything for an easy life and says yes to her all the time now even if it’s not okay with me because we have plans.

I can’t help but be furious with this whole situation. It’s all about her and she thinks it’s a competition that she must see her whenever my mum does.

What do you make of this?