My husband works 5 days a week and rarely has 2 off days in a row. I understand how hard he works for us. His job is somewhat physically demanding. He is an assistant manager at an oil change shop. He is definitely in the heat a lot of the day and is gone 12 hours out of the day.

Once he gets home he spends 30/45 mins doing his business and showering. After that there’s about 1.5 hours before we put the baby to sleep. At that point it’s usually 9:30-10:00pm. We always start trying to put him to bed around 8:30 but recently he’s been fighting sleep hard.

After the baby is finally asleep I always want to spend time with my husband alone. I understand he needs to sleep, I need to as well. But even just 30 mins with him would be good. I feel like I never see him anymore because as soon as the baby is asleep, he is out. Sometimes it’s before baby is asleep because I’m primarily the one doing bedtime. At the end of the day I want my husband but he’s just not available.

Our baby is 6 months old. I’m a SAHM. We just experienced a miscarriage 2 weeks ago. (First experience with that for both of us). We also just moved into our first home at the beginning of this month. With all this craziness that’s happening, I just feel disconnected from him. I need him emotionally right now, I feel so overwhelmed and stressed all the time. But I feel bad for getting upset that he’s tired.

Tonight is what led me to write a post. Today was our first wedding anniversary and he essentially forgot about it. Last week he invited his parents to come this weekend from out of state. They came by tonight and we will be spending tomorrow (his only off day this weekend) with them as well. That really gave us no opportunity to celebrate our anniversary. His compromise was that we would have a “movie date” tonight in the living room to spend time alone. But he fell asleep 20 mins into the movie. I left him on the couch asleep and came in our bedroom.

I can’t even be mad. He worked all day. I just feel so lonely and disconnected from him. He did write me a lovely card though and I appreciate it greatly. I just want some quality time with him. We’ve always had a great sex life basically until we moved here, with the miscarriage and then him falling asleep so fast every night. So there’s a real (and sudden) disconnect in that area as well.

Also I understand some people might suggest we leave the baby with his parents tomorrow while we go out. Unfortunately this isn’t an option as he is exclusively breast fed and won’t take a bottle. He also naps 3-4 times a day and won’t nap at all unless I breast feed him to sleep. So it’s just not practical to leave him with anyone else. They head back home in the late afternoon so after bedtime wouldn’t be an option either. Plus my husband would probably fall asleep before we could make it anywhere anyways.

AITA for being upset at him falling asleep tonight, and for not planning something for our first wedding anniversary?