I’m currently pregnant at 24 and terrified of having a daughter. I don’t want her to be a bad person like me. I just wish I can have a son. I came to the realization in therapy that I’m a horrible person, and I’ll likely always be a horrible person even if I do good things here and there. I’m selfish, I’m bitchy, I talk to my loved ones like shit, I’m a stealer, a liar, a whore, a manipulator, a pessimist. I was bullied really bad during high school and called a whore all throughout, and while some of those kids were being mean I realized that most of it was true. Every bad thing anyone’s ever said about me has been true. I’m a bad person. I’m horrible. I have no friends, and it’s because I’m a horrible person.

Other women have never liked me, I’ve never been apart of anyone’s friend group. I mean my own sister has said that she doesn’t want to deal with me and doesn’t like me because I’m a horrible person. It’s not even that I’m a “a lot” or “flawed” or “just human”. I’m just not a good person. I’ll try to teach my daughter good values; but deep down I’m afraid my daughter will be too much like me and be a monster.