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In my relationship of 14 years, I can count one 1 hand the amount of times my boyfriend took me out on a date without me asking. Definitely not any in the last like 10 years.
Ladies, does your man take you out on dates?¿
My man and I have been in a serious long term relationship for 7 years. We go out and do things occasionally, but mostly we spend time at home together. That can be really fun as one of our favorite things to do is unwind and watch tv together. Lately I’ve been wishing he took me out more. We’re both students paying for college, so by no means do I expect to go out every weekend or even super frequently. But sometimes it’s nice to go out to dinner together and enjoy each other’s company in a different setting. I’ve expressed my desire to be taken out and it’s usually met with “you never wanna do anything when I ask.” But unlike him, I don’t like going out to bars. I like candle lit wine dinners, dim settings that make me feel elegant and pretty. I never drink, and if I do I babysit the hell out of it lol. I just feel like we have different ideas of going out. My problem is also that I’m indecisive. If I feel like I’m the one that has to plan our date, I don’t feel… in my feminine if that makes sense. I know I know, I can’t always expect him to plan something all of the time, can I? But then again that’s what I want. I wish he would.. plan SOMETHING. Am I being unreasonable in my wish? Or should I just learn to appreciate the ways he DOES show up for me in our busy schedules? I guess I just miss the feeling of “dating” a little. Anyways, any advice would be appreciated! Thank you in advance 💌✨🤍
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I was never a bar person, but my current boyfriend drinks and I've come to enjoy our time together at the bars. The ones we go to are normally very empty so we still get out alone time and we play pool and darts sit and talk and occasionally do karaoke if we are there on that night. We do go out to eat and have been to concerts too so bars aren't all we do but it is a main spot for us now.
Why can’t you two work together to plan something? There’s nothing wrong with you saying “I don’t want to go to a club, I want a romantic dinner”. He’s not a mind reader. There are things my fiancé loves to do, that I’m not as interested in, but I still do them with him (just not super often). Same for the other way around. We also go to a movie every Tuesday, go to Disneyland 1-3 times a week (going to be less soon), do board game night just the two of us about weekly, and go to board game events about 1-2 times a month. We also used to do “surprise dates” monthly where we would take turns planning a date and would pay for everything that day. But we stopped doing that because our neurodivergent brains don’t like surprise lol. We do all of that for less than $100 a month. Movie tickets are $7 each, then our Disney passes are paid off so we go for free, board game night at home is free, and we usually buy dinner when we go to the board game event, which typically costs about $20 since we always share an entree.
He did state that you never want to do anything when he asks. How do you expect him to plan something if he is usually met with that? My partners and I have dates 2x a week. It’s important that we have time together and then one on one time. I think you and him need to work on your communication a little bit more.
Ja
Thank you for your comment, I agree that we need to work more on communication. I’ve said I want to go out to dinner, whereas he usually asks if I want to go out to a bar. So I usually say no thank you, as I’m not a drinker and don’t find enjoyment in that. However that doesn’t mean we never go to the bars, as I know he likes going. And I want him to enjoy our time together too. I think we just need to find a balance maybe
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