We have a 4 month old daughter now.

My partner has previously tried doing soberity but lasted 5 weeks and went back to drinking 2/3 times a week. When he drinks it’s never just a couple, he would get so drunk he would be slurring his words and stumbling over.

We moved in together, not sure why I hadn’t really noticed this before, but the drinking started becoming an issue when I was pregnant and he would come to bed at 1/2am on a work night, smelling of drink, slurring his words and falling over in the room to the point I had to help him to bed.

He tried soberity again as he admitted himself he relied on drink too much but only lasted 3 weeks.

Fast forward to now. He still drinks 2/3 nights a week, sometimes 4. I’m on maternity leave and he works Monday to Friday 9-5. I go to bed with our daughter around 8/9pm, especially nights he’s drinking as I don’t like drunk him. He becomes very defensive and paranoid.

Anyways today I went to visit my grandfather and he went to his friends house for a drink. He told me he would be back no later than 6pm. I get home at 5pm, change and feed our daughter and do some playtime. I text my partner at 6:30pm asking when he was coming home and he said “I’m still here and will be having a few more beers”. 7:30pm came and I’m giving our daughter her final bottle and putting her to bed, he asks me to pick him up from his friends house 20 minutes away. I tell him no as I’m putting out daughter to bed and not waking her up to put into the car. He then went quiet for 2 hours and never got home till 9:30pm. I was super pissed off, 6pm he was coming home and it was now 3.5 hours later. Not to mention he was very drunk, staggering all over the house and trying to pick an argument.

He told me it was my fault he was home later as I didn’t go pick him up then went straight to bed. Our daughters bottles still needed sterilised and I thought considering he was out all day he would atleast help me with this but no he kicked off and went into the kitchen and poured himself more beer. He told me he was sleeping in the livingroom all because he had to waste money on an Uber and it was again my fault for not picking him up. I’m apparently a bad girlfriend, selfish and self-centred and I’ve to fuck off to bed and watch my tiktoks and get out of his sight. He was raising his voice so loud at me and woke our daughter, I told him because he woke her that he was to put her back to sleep but he went to lift her and almost dropped her he was so drunk so I ended up taking over. But he’s now sleeping in the livingroom and I’ve to “fuck off and not speak to him”.

I can’t deal with this anymore. He’s such a different person when he’s drinking and is super nasty to me. Then next day he’ll try to explain to me from his point of view what “I’VE” done wrong. Can someone care to explain what I’ve done so wrong by putting our daughter to bed and not wanting to wake her by going out to pick him up? His choice to go out? Make your own way home.