My mom does not like my wife. My wife has struggled with addiction on and off and we separated 4 years ago because she cheated on me with someone she was doing drugs with. We got back together and worked through it. My mom has always tried to stay friendly with her but for the last year she refused to talk to her because my younger brother passed away. He was 10 and he passed away from downing in a lake. My wife promised she would remain sober during the ceremony. They cremated my brother. She ended up going to the bathroom and taking something. I don't know what it was. Just that she was no longer sober. She acted up. Accidentally knocked over my brothers urn and everything. Luckily the urn didn't break or anything. She ruined my brother's funeral and I was really close to a divorce but she promised to get sober. My mom isn't the most forgiving person and now she hates her and says she never wants to see her face again. My wife did apologize but she doesn't understand an apology won't make everything better. She's been seeing it as she already said sorry so they should be good. My mom turns 50 tomorrow. My wife isn't allowed at her house. I just want to stop by to give my mom a gift. Not even stay. My wife doesn't want me to because she finds it disrespectful since she's not allowed over there. Is it so bad to say happy birthday for my mom's 50th and give her a gift?

>I chose to stay with my wife for multiple reasons. We have a lot of history. We are in marriage counseling and she's more or less stayed sober since ruining my little brother's funeral. She is trying to save our marriage too