I have a close friend who is struggling I feel with 3 children. Her boyfriend, the kids father is no good in my opinion. He’s always leaving to make sells (iykyk) he doesn’t have a regular job. The times he is there, he is stuck in his video games cussing at the screen and getting legit mad talking crazy to the people on there with him. He gets angry and throws a fit. Leaves her at the house all the time with no car… I honestly feel like he cheats on her just because of the person I know him to be. She always sides with him in ways and makes excuses for him and his behavior why he’s not not there, why he basically choked out the dogs and punched them like they were humans. yeah that’s a whole other story. And so on.

As selfish as this sounds, I hate going there. I always do or more so used to always go there. It just doesn’t make me feel good to be there with my child simply put, rather he’s there or not. I invite her to my house. I offer to come get them and we can hangout at the house and let the kids play but she doesn’t want to.

When we talk she makes it known that she’s overwhelmed and says “but no one seems to understand that”. The thing is I do understand, I see she’s overwhelmed but I want to say well quit making excuses for his shitty behavior and tell him he needs to step up. But I know if I did, she would make another excuse for him or act a certain way towards me for saying that… she expects everyone else to help her out other than him, the father of her kids… is it selfish of me to feel like I no longer want to help? Because she puts it out there so much to me but lets her boyfriend walk all over her or I’m helping give the kids baths while he is on his video games… like sorry I have my own shit going on. Make him step up. What’s your advice or opinions? Am I being selfish and a shitty friend?