I need advice…

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post!

Hi mamas. I feel kind of silly but something tells me there’s someone out there who feels my pain?

For some background… I have two kids, 6 & 8. Boy and girl and my boy is my oldest. We have always been pretty gentle in our parenting and have coslept since birth.

I say “we” but their dad and I are divorced - though on good terms and we parent as a team… it’s been five years and I don’t think it’s a factor in my sons clinginess.

I just recently moved my son to his own bed at my place and even still I’ve kept the tradition of laying with him to help him fall asleep. In the past few weeks it’s become even harder to sneak away from him even after I’m sure he’s asleep. Lately he’s taken to wrapping his arm around my middle very tight so escaping even if he is asleep is hard. All this to say… I always end up trying and failing to leave and prolonging the bedtime routine as you can imagine…

Anyway… some of my friends think I’m a pathetic pushover but I’m hoping a gentle mama here understands how hard this is. I’ve never sleep trained either of my babies but now I want to sleep train my 8 year old? Meaning I want to do our bedtime routine and then leave and let him fall asleep alone… he and his sister do share a room but he says he just needs me. I guess I need tips and encouragement that I’m not being a mean mom and my mom guilt is artificial… I just want to gently transition him to me finishing our bedtime routine, a quick snuggle, and leave him to fall asleep… he genuinely hates being away from me at night and tells me almost daily… help! How do I do transition him and still make him feel safe?

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post!