I’ll need therapy after this

Hi I’ll try to make this short.

Sunday 9/22. My kids dad found out I was talking with someone else. Then threaten to self harm right in front of us.

9/22. We came home from a party (my daughter and I) it was one of our family members, we got there, we ate, Etc. my new partner joined us as well. He also mentioned that it was his sisters birthday dinner. So I agree we can do both? I don’t see the problem. So we stayed at my family’s party for 2/3 hours. I asked my daughter if she wanted to tag along or stay at the kids birthday party with her god mom. Of course she chose to stay where there was fun, jumping castle, candy, and all. I picked her up from her god mom’s house around 8:30. We got home. For some reason I was ready to tell her father I was talking with someone nd it has gotten pretty serious with us. (Her father and I have been separated for a year and some months. He moved in with me bc he thought he wanted something with me but like a dummy I believed it and he turned around and said I didn’t wanna be with you really. So. I set boundaries he can sleep in the other room and we can me room mates for now.) anyway. As soon as I tried getting my daughter to bed she mentioned. “Mom why did you go to another party” and he heard and said “you ditched our daughter for another guy?” I proceeded to say no I didn’t ditch her. I gave her a choice of joining or staying. And she was safe with her god mom and cousins. He kept calling me disrespectful and I got upset and said “please leave my room.” He then said “I pay rent here too this is my room too” so I said if you don’t like that I’m talking with someone you’re more than welcome to leave. He the said well now you’re just trying to take my daughter from me as I told him before we can go do custody if you want. THEN. that’s when he said do you want me to kiII myself? And I said “I don’t care what you do” he went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and locked himself in the bathroom. I told him if you’re going to do that I WILL be taking out daughter because this is not a safe environment. He threatens it 3 times before I had to call the police. The police arrive and take him to the hospital to get checked.

He does end up in a 72 hour hold. Police told to me to file for a restraining order. As I just did yesterday. Now 9/25. Filled for the order. I called his sister the night everything happened and she said she was there with him and told me. “There should be no contact. I will come by and grab this things.” I said ok that’s fine I can live with that. 9/24. I got a call from a hospital and I thought it was my dentist. It was him calling me. He says “ hey sorry just wanted to check in on you and z, I know I scared you guys. When I’m out can I go shower and collect my things” I said no your sis said she’ll come grab your things he then says “well I’m asking you if that’s ok.” I said “ again idk I’m not in the right state of mind to see you right now.” He pushes it again and I gave in and said ok. The next day 9/25 I wanted to tell him I changed my mind because I’m just not ready to see him. So I just go to fill out the order and as soon as I’m taking it to the sheriff office he sends a text “I’m home I’ll be gone by the weekend” I thought he had more time where he was and my stomach dropped. Then he sends another text “I’ll try to leave today I can see how bad you don’t want me here” because I already pre packed his things so his sister can take. I called his sister and said “hey do you he was out already?” She says “yeah he called you yesterday.” I said ok. Well he didn’t mention getting out today. I told her about the protection order and she got upset with me. I said “it’s temporary just so I know he won’t do something like this again” she said “no just keep it permanent so that way you can figure everything out on your own” as in I will have to figure everything out on my own with my child regarding any and everything. (Which I already do anyway. He’s a father that was there but absent) I said ok. That’s fine. She calls again and has him on the other line telling him if he know about the restraining order. (As I JUST did it that same day.) she then says “ok from here moving forward he won’t contact about NOTHING.” I said well on the order it says he can about things regarding his daughter. She said “FOR WHAT you can figure it out.” I said. Fine. Then she hung up on me. I’m not trying to keep our daughter away just making sure that he’s being safe. And it was temporary. Because I didn’t know his thoughts after getting out of a psych ward. Idk. I feel so guilty about all of this. Did I do the wrong thing?