I left home yesterday to stay in a hotel because I suspect my boyfriend might be cheating on me again, even though I haven’t found solid proof—he usually deletes everything before I can see it. A while ago, I blocked a girl’s number on his iPhone, and I’ve noticed that when you block someone, their number stays in the same spot on the blocked list. But if you unblock them, they move to the bottom of the list, showing they were most recently blocked again. I’ve noticed that her number is now at the bottom, meaning he recently unblocked and re-blocked her. He’s also recently blocked another friend’s number, and I know about that situation, so this isn’t just a coincidence.

I even showed him the proof—a screenshot from when I initially blocked her number, compared to where it is now—but he denied everything. I know he’s lying. He doesn’t seem to care at all, often bragging about having other girls at work and saying he doesn’t care about me—just the car I took, which is his.

This might sound a bit obsessive, but over the four years we’ve been together, I’ve learned his patterns. He’s good at hiding things, lying, and manipulating, so when I saw her number move down the list, I couldn’t help but question it. Is he still interested in her? Is he secretly talking to her again and just hiding it by blocking her afterward? I confronted him about it, but he denied everything, telling me I can believe what I want. I told him that regardless of his intentions, unblocking her had to be for a reason, but he won’t tell me what that reason is or that he even did it when clearly he did.

When he cheated on me with this girl a year ago, I had messages and screenshots of their conversations, but even then, he denied it until he finally admitted it. I think this tells me a lot about who he really is, and I’m just looking for some advice on what to do next. I just want someone to love me. I’ve told him at this point if you wanna be with someone else or you wanna be with her just tell me be honest with me because the more we get older the more I can’t be asked for these games I just wanna settle down with someone and I’ve been with him for years and I thought that that was it And I feel like I’m just wasting my time.

 I’ve also attached the things that he said to me that night I left to go to the hotel