My husband has a very toxic relationship with his mom. She is just awful to yet, surprisingly she is the complete opposite with our kids. I know some grandparents treat their grandkids better because they see it as an opportunity to start over. But she will be absolutely horrible to my husband and overstep boundaries. She will come to our home unannounced and guilt us into changing our plans around so she can see the grandkids because she drove an hour away. She calls my husband on messenger constantly to FaceTime with the kids and if she feels like she hasn't seen the kids enough, she will be little and hurt my husband. She does that in our own home and whenever she is here the kids become more disrespectful towards my husband. My husband has tried to take his life in the past and used to self harm. Is dads death anniversary was Friday so he's been struggling really hard mentally. His mom was doing off on him because she hasn't seen the kids and told him one day she's gonna die and he's gonna regret this. He told her "I have been trying all week not to self harm. I don't need this right now." She said bullshit and called him an attention seeker. My husband ended up cutting himself for the first time in 4 years. So I decided I'm done. I told him if he won't put down a boundary I will and I told her until she can learn to be respectful of us she is not allowed over our home and into our space. She said she wants to hear it from her son and I said this is my house too. Now some of his family is telling him I'm controlling and I'm wrong for this and blah blah blah. I didn't want to have to do it but my husband was clearly never going to set boundaries with her.