My husband makes a lot of comments about my physical appearance. I think it’s usually just observational and not meant to be hurtful but it’s been getting to me hearing it over and over. He often mentions my close-set eyes, which I never felt uncomfortable about until he started to point it out. He also talks a lot about how “narrow” or small I am (I am petite 5’3” and have narrow shoulders). He’ll say things like my hair as frizzy (it’s naturally curly). He tells me I’m too short and it makes it hard to kiss (he’s 6’1”). He says I have a small mouth and a nose like the Kleenex girl commercial.

The list goes on. As a background, he’s an artist and pays attention to physical features in that way. But hearing it over and over has made me feel very self conscious. I’ve tried to talk to him but he feels he’s just making neutral observations and I’m taking it personally or being sensitive about something that’s just an observation and not a negative.

I’m not really sure what to say other than, “it makes me feel more self-conscious when you comment so much on my features. I’m not trying to take it personally or say you’re doing anything wrong but I just wanna let you know it gets to me over time.”

He often takes these things to extreme of saying “fine I’ll never comment on anything about how you look, even if it’s positive.” But idk I just don’t feel comfortable and I’m scared how he will react.

And even when I have said stuff like that it continues to show in other ways like it making signals with his hands referring to me being so small or when we hug and I want to kiss him, he’ll pretend to kiss an imaginary head above my head signaling that I’m too short??? Idk it’s almost a daily thing.

Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? I know people will recommend me continue to try to communicate my concerns. But is there a better way for me to say it or respond to this?

I recognize that I cannot rely on anyone else for self-esteem and confidence so I feel like he could argue this? Idk it’s obviously a me issue.