So this is going to be a long post..

For reference I just turned 18 a few days ago.

I met this guy online when I was 16. I was in a bad spot and we quickly got close. He was 32(33now) at that time. He lives about a 24 hours away from me driving in the USA.

Anyways things turned bad after a few months in. He took our relationship VERY seriously. I got a boyfriend in person and it was awful. There were many nights I stayed all night talking him down from killing himself. It’s been like that ever since.

He knows where I work, where I live, literally everything about me. He’s threatened to come up here and beat up the people I’ve been with. And I believe him.

I will admit I’ve been leading him on because I’m scared of ending things with him for fear that he will kill himself or come up to where I live and hurt me or other people.

I’ve tried ending things several times but they all result in him crying and acting like he will kill himself. I know everyone will say that he’s just saying that but I truly believe him.

Just last week he took an entire bottle of something, but he was drunk so he threw it all up.

Now that I’m 18 he’s expecting me to come visit him for a week. It’s becoming a lot harder to avoid now. I feel so stuck.

He’s been to jail for having sex with a 15 year old when he was 27 I believe.

I just feel so trapped. He thinks I want to go live with him and have babies with him and get married. But really at the end of I just want out. Sometimes I feel like I want those things but then I have these moments of clarity like I am now and realize how fucked up this whole thing is.

I have no clue what to do.

Anyways I know this was a long post and if anyone actually read this far I appreciate it

We mainly talk on Snapchat now we I can’t show recently but this is an example of how things are. This is not even CLOSE to how bad things have gotten but I’ve deleted all the really bad stuff.