Please don’t judge me here, I’m feeling pretty worried.

I haven’t been with a man for years. After my ex left me. But one of the personal trainers at the gym and I started flirting, he asked me out. I got the impression that he just wanted a physical thing and after deep thought, I thought I’d just give it a shot for just casual.

On a date, I asked him when his last relationship was and he said 2021. But a post at the end of last year is him working out with a woman, and it’s titled ‘power couple.’ Bit confusing. I can see all her family, sisters, mom, dad, still like anything he posts on instagram. So I don’t know if this is a bit suss.

He also wanted to chat on Instagram, but only followed me from his fitness account not his personal one. He also said he prefer not to chat on WhatsApp as that’s for clients… and mumbled something about as he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he keeps things to instagram for chat

Last night however, we slept together for the first time. He opened up before hand about how he can’t date for a serious relationship right now, and listed financial and emotional reasons. It was fun and flirty until he got back to my flat and I started to lose my desire for some reason.

It happens a lot with sex for me, that when it’s about to happen I lose interest. Dunno if that makes me broken. I tried it anyway but he said he wouldn’t go down on me and that he’s never done it in his life and that it’s a cultural thing. I couldn’t really stay that turned on. He kept losing his erection. And of course afterwards, he said he couldn’t stay and needed to get back to his Dog. He said something about me not ever being able to stay at his house as he lives with his brother and his brother would ask questions and it be awkward.

Today I feel really empty and guilty. I know I shouldn’t have done it. But also I’m worried it means I can’t feel strong desire or attraction anymore and I’m worried I’ll never feel what I felt for my ex. I wonder if he’s showing clear signs of cheating on a partner or believes that keeping things physical without the emotional side, he feels ok if he is in a relationship.

Could there be a simple explanation to the ‘power couple’ girl? Do people stay close long after a relationship has ended.

I don’t want to see him again,but I’m kinda worrying I’ll never feel true desire to a man again