My daughter wants everything she sees. We can't go anywhere any more. Advice please!

It's awful. My husband stays home with her while I shop because she demands everything. She is 8, so definitely knows better. She's getting in trouble at school too because she'll just take whatever she feels like. I'm constantly finding things that aren't hers in her book bag. I'm at my wits end. Discipline doesn't work and we've tried everything including confiscating her Halloween candy until she can show us she can stop touching things that aren't hers. She is defiant and lacks empathy.

She demanded a classmate's Halloween earrings on the 31st. She doesn't even have pierced ears. I've even used that as an incentive but she doesn't want to have her ears pierced.

I've done some reading online and I don't know if this is serious enough to talk to her doctor about just yet. She has lots of signs of oppositional defiance but this has only been going on for about two or three months. She does not have ADHD or any other medical/mental issues. It's purely this impulsivity and lack of empathy when she's taking items. Otherwise, she is pretty normal. There have been no big changes recently, other than going back to school.

Edited to add that I'm not questioning taking her to the doctor. I'm questioning if I should do it now, or else wait and try some other things first. This is the first time she's ever done anything like this. Of course all kids go through that phase where they want everything in sight but she was never really like that until recently. Her school seems to think it's a phase she'll grow out of and they're more concerned with just having the behavior stop. I asked if I should take her to the doctor and her teacher looked at me like I had three heads.

156 views • 0 upvotes • 8 comments

COMMENT (8)

Mr

Posted at
Definitely time to talk to her doctor. Therapy is likely needed.

Ch

Posted at
I mean, I give my child whatever they want! My kid isn’t demanding though.. definitely speak with her Dr

an

Posted at
Are you seriously questioning talking to her doctor? You should have done that already if you can't handle the situation on your own this sounds extremely serious and will only get worse why would you even question this ? You are the parents you need to DO something

Mi

Posted at
As a parent, i would personally go remove all her toys & things she really likes out of her bedroom while she's at school, then when she comes home 2 find that all HER things she likes are gone, & she comes 2 u crying asking where all her stuff is...simply say that u didn't think she needed those things anymore, seeing as how she likes 2 take everybody else's things from them! She wont like a taste of her own medicine! Id also have her go through all her toys & things & have her decide which things she is going to put in a pile 2 donate. Reiterate to her the reality that there are plenty of other children who don't have all the nice things that she does, & who aren't fortunate enough to have new toys ect. Do the donation b4 Christmas tho since new toys will be replacing the old ;) and stop buying her things! Lol!

Mo

Posted at
I know you said this is new, but did she show any other signs of trying to be controlling/dominant/entitled before? If not and this is completely new since starting school this year, there may be something going on at school. Maybe she feels out of control/anxious and this is how it's manifesting to try to dominate and feel in control. I agree counseling may help figure this out.

Je

Posted at
It's always worth having a quick talk with your doctor, even just to start the ball rolling and to get it on the radar.

Av

Posted at
You need to make an appointment with her doctor and get a referral for therapy. This won’t go away on its own and this is problematic behavior.

GF

Posted at
@GlowGPT please help me with this topic!