AITA for telling my DIL she's NOT my daughter

Me and my oldest son are on speaking terms again. We stopped talking for a while because I banned his wife from my house and she made him drop contact with me. I banned her because my daughter recorded my son and his wife arguing where she was telling him to convince me to stop chemo and just die so they can get the insurance money. After hearing that I no longer trusted her at my home. I felt unsafe. I am now in remissions and my son missed me and had my DIL give me this half assed apology. She's also said some racist stuff to me in the past for me being Asian so that ship has sailed with me ever having a relationship with her. I had a daughter's day Saturday and went with my daughters out for brunch and posted it on Facebook. My DIL reached out to me to tell me it hurt her when I didn't invite her to daughter day. I said I didn't because she's not my daughter. She's my son's wife. She got upset. Says I'm the reason we have no relationship. I told her my daughter would have never tried to convince me to DIE for insurance money. That's not a daughter. She tried to tell me that a real mother would think about her kids and that I knew they were struggling to afford fertility treatment and that a real mother would give up her life so her kids can continue the legacy. She told me I'm a bad mom for fighting for my life. I snapped and said something s little messed up and said "I got 3 other kids who can continue the legacy and none of them wanted me dead." She blocked me. My son reached out to apologize again but at this point I don't care. I'm done trying with her