This is gonna sound pathetic as i am only 22 and people find love at all stages of life. However, i feel my situation is a lot more complicated.

Ive never had a relationship, just men who wanted a slice and dipped. One particular man really hurt me when i was 19 (he didn’t want anything serious but kept coming back to boost his ego and is now in a happy relationship for about 3 years). Ever since then, every man i meet just doesn’t compare to him, and the thing is, he wasn’t even anything special. I dont know whether i was particularly lonely mentally at that time or what but one things for sure, ive completely changed my outlook on relationships since. I would have FAILED after FAILED after FAILED talking stages and eventually gave up. Ive now truly embraced being single. I absolutely LOVE it. Im doing really well for myself- nice car, lux holidays, amazing friends, good job. And i think I literally do not need a man (HOORAY! You say) no. I feel mind numb when it comes to feelings. Idk if men seem to sense the fact that im happy alone because ive never been more in demand with my dating life (im casually dating a guy who wants something serious) which is typical seeing as im genuinely contend being single. However, am I supposed to just feel Meh about him? Like I enjoy spending time with him and having sex and going for dinner, but other than that, i have no other use for him. And i say ‘use’ because I genuinely think my mindset has become ‘men are disposable’ just how I felt when i was being used for sex and men i actually liked went on to happy relationships after telling me ‘i dont want anything serious’ .

To summarise, i feel like i dont have ‘love’ feeling in me, I genuinely feel ‘meh’ about any new man i meet now. Its sad because i should be happy i can live a normal life with a man as an addition and not as my whole personality but I genuinely feel nothing but ‘trapped’ when im dating someone new. I hope this makes sense and im sorry it was so long to read xx