Unpaid “debt”

Since my sex drive has gone back to normal, or even better than before, in the last couple months after having my youngest, I’ve been making a point of going down on my husband more. Use to I wasn’t in the mood for it to be reciprocated, it never really bothered me whether he did the same for me or not. But, I’ve been more in the mood for it recently and have made it clear.

He talked big game all day a couple weeks ago, I exfoliated, shaved, the whole 9 yards. Then after going down on him he acted like he didn’t want to return the favor and it was kind of a mood killer. When I said something he said: “you usually just want to have sex. But I can if you want.” Which was what I thought was the plan the whole time by how he talked.

The next day I started my period so there wasn’t a chance for it to happen until after. When he’d mention anything about getting head id tell him he was in debt and wasn’t getting it until it was repaid.

Then today- all day he was talking big game again, I told him yet again- don’t write checks you won’t cash. He said he wasn’t, we were both very much on the same page and I made sure of that. I even told him that if I shaved and went through the whole process just for him not to that I was cutting him off for a week.

Got the kids to bed, got in the shower, was halfway through shaving when he came in and asked why I was shaving. Immediately turned off, stopped shaving, finished my regular shower and got out.

He’s saying he was just joking but I’ve told him before that saying things like that kills the mood for me and makes me think he feels like it’s a chore, and if I have to ask for it then it’s not the same as it would be for him to want to do it.

I just don’t know what else to say or do to get him to understand that I want head as much as he does. I’ve told him that I won’t because he doesn’t reciprocate like he use to, I’ve asked if there’s a reason he doesn’t want to, explained that it feels like he doesn’t want me as much as when he use to want to do it all the time. Could these feelings partially be from hormones? Yes. But it also is just upsetting in a way that I can’t explain.