Disrespecting Boundaries….

So I know I might be the dumbass in this situation, but I need to vent, and I have no friends.

When my husband and I started dating and getting serious, he cheated on me. Or I guess my version of cheating. He never went out and slept with someone else was just exchanging nudes and dirty messages. I forgave him, well he did the same thing 4 more times (while I was pregnant, and while I was raising our kiddo, while he was out of the country for work.) I forgave him every single time. I know I’ve heard the saying once a cheater always a cheater. So the last time I laid out my hard boundaries, if we were going to continue. The main two being, 1. He can talk to other females, old friends whatever, BUT he has to be open and transparent with this. And if I ask to see his phone (I don’t, I haven’t looked in a long time) I get to see it. And two, no following onlyfans girls (nothing against them, y’all are hella pretty, but it makes me insecure.) im not as skinny as I once was, and that’s all he seemed to be following. The super skinny, pretty OF models. And that made me feel shitty. So I asked him not to anymore. He agreed, unfollowed on instagram, and TikTok.

Well last night, I decided to download Threads, and first person to pop up was my husband (didn’t even know he had one, but okay) So I clicked on his profile, to follow. And then I saw he was following , and they are literally all OF models. So I confronted him about it…. And he told me “yea I saw the pages and thought they were interesting, so I followed.” So then we got into the discussion of how he keeps disrespecting my boundaries (this isn’t the first time something like this has happened either), and how you can’t continuously disrespect someone you love. Because if the shoe was on the other foot it’d be a one time conversation, and it’d be dropped. But I pretty much said I was done and I can’t keep doing shit like this anymore… and he pretty much told me I was overreacting, because “at least he owned up to it, and didn’t lie”. I told him after Christmas (his parents are coming to spend time with our some. First Christmas for everyone together. And I wasn’t going to take that from them.) but I told him then we needed to sit down and figure out what moving forward will look like.

Idk if I’m doing the right thing. It feels silly to me to leave over something as small as who he follows. Idk what I’m going to do going forward. But I know I’m not the person I want to be anymore either. I’m jealous, and I feel slightly controlling… idk, I just have no clue anymore 😓