Partner’s masturbation - new lows

Hi everyone,

This is a long one!!

Not even sure this is the right group to post on, but in the last few months I’ve learned that my partner masturbates most mornings (normal, I get it), and sometimes evenings too, however when I’m stressed with our children downstairs trying to get us all ready for school, and usually been that way for an hour already, it pisses me off! He’s upstairs enjoying himself daily when I’m struggling.

However, the conflict in my head comes because when we’re getting intimate, in those moments, it massively turns me on hearing about when he’s masturbated!

I’m now pregnant with our 4th child, and since he’s found out that it turns me on, he’s started to masturbate in bed at night, even when he knows that I’m exhausted and in pain with the pregnancy. It’s always super late as well, like midnight and beyond. I can’t help but give in, which is fine as I then enjoy it, but I need rest and I do feel like he’s taking advantage as it’s become a daily thing. If it was every few days I’d feel as though that was acceptable, but I’m honestly exhausted with having 3 children already and another on the way. I feel like he disregards my actual needs, with his desires.

Last night I feel like he went too far; we went to bed after midnight, and straight away our youngest woke up and he got into the bed with us. He and I fell asleep straight away, but then my partner woke me up with his foot, it scared the life out of me as I probably hadn’t been asleep for too long and my heart was racing! He apologised so I started to fall back asleep, and I heard something, so stayed listening out. My partner had begun to masturbate, but our 3 year old was in the bed, in the middle of us! I was so angry, I asked if that’s what he was doing and he tried to deny it. But I could hear in his voice and the lack of volatile reaction told me my suspicions were true.

Anyway, I dropped it and tried to get back to sleep and it started again! So I called him out again and said I knew it’s what he was doing, I wasn’t stupid and I know the noises!! My partner is a HOT HEAD, so I know for a fact that if I was wrong, he would be irate at the fact that I was wrongly accusing him, but the fact he was being calm proved to me I was right. I told him it was so inappropriate as our child was in the bed. His response: “I can’t get to sleep”. I was so disgusted and so outraged. We have 3 bathrooms in the house that he could’ve gone to, why stay in the bed where our child is laying next to him?! I then didn’t get to sleep until 2am, before being woken by another of our children.

I honestly feel repulsed; it’s a low I never thought he’d stoop to and now I am honestly questioning whether I can even continue in this relationship (it’s a question I’ve been toying with for years based on his volatile behaviour and other things, so not just because of this).

What are your thoughts??

Thanks if you got to the end ☺️