Setting and maintaining boundaries or breaking your mom's heart? I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do with a gift my mom gave me (after I said no) that means a lot to my mom but nothing to me.

Question

So my mom gives you gifts but first, she'll ask you if you want it multiple times. I kept saying no, I don't want your grandmother's china. This weekend she gave it to me as my Christmas gift. I told her it was very nice but I don't have room for it and I won't use it. She insisted I keep it.
I told her she had until New Years eve to get it out of my house or else it's going to Goodwill. She refused to pick it up but also said I'm not allowed to get rid of it.
The china is beautiful and from the early 1900s/late 1890s. I just don't like china, and this is a huge set. Service for 16, plus serving dishes, tea and coffee pots, tea cups and saucers... The works. It takes up a massive china cabinet (which she also wants me to have but I refuse to pay for it to be professionally moved from her house to mine, and she can't afford to pay for it either.)
It kills me to get rid of the china I know how much it means to my mom, but I have four kids and no room to store stuff. My kids don't want the china either. My eldest actually hates it because my mom makes her wash it when we do Christmas at my mom's. It's also the reason I hate it so... Bonding with your 13 year old over mutual hatred of china 🤣🤣🤣
I want to drop it off at her house today but my husband says I should drop it off at Goodwill like I said I would, or sell it to an antique dealer. He says that maybe if I start actually following through on things, she'll stop giving me things I don't want and already told her noy to give me.
This is just such a massive thing... It's not like a shirt or something small. I know no matter what, her feelings will be hurt, but at least if I give it to her, the china isn't "lost". 
Advice please!
Edit: I dropped it off at her house. She's mad at me and told me I am ungrateful. I told her that I'm going to start doing what I want with her gifts if she continues to impose gifts on me and tells me what to do with them.

Answer

Personally, I would drop it off at her house and tell her that if it ends up at your place again, you'll donate it. Gifts are given with the understanding that the receiver can do whatever they want with the gift.
Going forward, stop saying that you're going to do something that you don't feel comfortable doing. Your boundaries don't mean anything if you can't stick to them. Pick something you are comfortable doing, like dropping things off on her porch, and do what you say you will do.
You may have to tell her that you know how much these things mean to her, but they don't mean the same thing to you.

Answer

I would give  it back to her personally . She should have listened to you when you said no but if it’s special to her i would drop it off at her house .

Answer

There’s not way I’d keep this. You told your mom no multiple times and she’s disrespected your boundaries. I wouldn’t drop it off at her house, you already told her many times. Personally I’d try to sell it to get some extra cash. But if that doesn’t work then donate it. You and your kids really don’t want it and you’ve given your mom many chances.

Answer

Her feelings are going to be hurt regardless of what you decide. I would follow through with your word and take it to Goodwill. If you try to set a boundary but then don’t stick to it, she will just keep finding ways to cross it.

Answer

Definitely bring it back to her house. I would pack it up for her in boxes to store. She has an attachment to it and is trying to get you to store it for her. Taking it to goodwill might be really upsetting for her. It’s annoying but just give it back.

Answer

Her reaction to your boundary isn’t your problem. Give her the final say on where it goes, but definitely return or sell it. No shame. She’s responsible for her own feelings. No one wants China like that, boomers saved it all for nothing. They can keep it and be buried with it.

Setting and maintaining boundaries or breaking your mom's heart? I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do with a gift my mom gave me (after I said no) that means a lot to my mom but nothing to me.

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