Am I the asshole?

Long story short my sister is 10 years younger than me. She lived with me for a while in high-school. We didn’t get to spend much of our childhood together as I was in foster care much older and she was with her dad’s family. She reconnected with me at 15 and I got guardianship of her. Now she’s married and trying to start a family of her own. I have kids of my own and newly pregnant again. She’s struggling with fertility issues. I got my tubes untied over the summer, one to conceive with my husband but also told my sister if the time ever came I would more than gladly be her surrogate. I know how badly she wants a family of her own.

She has kinda popped off a couple times about me being pregnant and how it’s unfair and I’ve overlooked it. She’s 24 almost now. She really doesn’t have much involvement with my kids. She’s promised to do so but never does. She will always invite me to lunch or girl time and I usually do happily but lately I’ve just been in my feelings maybe bc I’m pregnant and I called her out on not being an active aunt in her nieces and nephews lives. I was just met with “it goes both ways” whatever that’s supposed to mean.

For the last several months I’ve reached out to her first almost ever time to ask for updates on your IUI cycles etc bc I truly do want this for her. I don’t talk about my pregnancy much to her bc she had divulged to my mom how I just “pop” out kids but she can’t even have one and how sad it made her. So I really try to be considerate and just don’t talk about it bc I don’t want her to be triggered.

Today she popped off the same thing she was venting over her failed IUI “god just said let’s give Ashley all the babies but fuck me, when I want it more” and I got mad. I texted her and said for some one that claims she’s wants a family more than me you sure have little to no involvement in the kids lives around you and that should be important “ she went on to tell me that was out of line etc. to me it kinda true? Idk maybe it was wrong but I’m tired of hearing and having to always tip toe around her feelings when she doesn’t consider mine.

I have to jump for her and everything she wants but she doesn’t do the same she just makes excuses. Now I feel like the asshole bc I basically called her a bad aunt and how she may not want a family as bad as she thinks. I probably could have worded it differently. I was trying to make the point how she’s not involved in our lives like we are expected to be hers and how I’m not allowed to be excited over my baby to aid in her feelings around her….

Am I the asshole?