I have No one else to talk to

Yesterday my husband and I got into a argument on the way to meet a friend to shop and we got into a little argument about something we couldn’t agree on so anyways as we park I get out the car with my baby’s sweater and back that I was holding he peels off mad with our 1yr old with him leaving me at the store I texted him so are u just going to let me walk home ? He said your not stranded u can get a ride .. that really hurt me as his wife and mother of his child I felt disrespected so embarrassed that my friend had to take me home .. after she drives me home we got into another argument he walks in and starts to choke me in front of my daughter she starts ti cry because she can feel me sad and whimpering just writhing this I’m crying like this is not okay I was with a very abusive man before him and my husband and I been together for almost 8 yrs it so it’s so hard but I know I deserve better my daughter to we live with his mom I have no family close by .. he’s usually very verball dum bitch and stuff like that and he always saying if I ever left him he would 🔪 this is the second time he did this I just asked him are u ready to talk he said talk about what I said you don’t feel sorry about putting your hands on me yesterday he said no I don’t you push me to it I said as a man no matter how mad a woman makes you u don’t put your hands on them do u want our daughter to go through that he said she won’t because I will teach her how to respect a man and that just blew my mind .. mind u he’s using fentanyl so that’s been rough to he being gone for hours finding dope in the car he’s on parole to so yea in the back of my head I know I need to get my ducks in a rough it won’t be easy please be kind I just want some love and positivy I know this is a safe space but of course realness 🫶🏼 I am a sahm mom to so I’m not working .. I keep feeling like okay I’m sorry and just blaming me but it’s burning me out I’m tired I want better I want to feel free and genuinely happy I cook I clean I take care of our daughter I manage all the bills and everything I do everything literally and I make money sometimes and don’t even work and it covers monthly bills when needed I feel like I have two kids what about your man your suppose to take care of me !!