I think I hate my husband

Through out our marriage my husband has constantly ran after other women. Constantly talked, texted, sexted and even hit up a worker about her prices. He always had excuses as to why he did what he did and finally the beginning of last year was my last straw when he got in touch with a female from his past and I found inappropriate pictures of her in his phone and he told me that will definitely not happen again for something similar to actually happen again 2 months after that. I just turned all my emotions off and felt numb about the whole situation I tried to leave but he’s beg me to stay and then I started talking to a guy to kind of clear my mind and to help me make my mind up about leaving my husband but then my husband found out about the guy and went off. I was only giving him a taste of his own medicine 🤷🏻‍♀️. Anyways after he got over being angry he begged me to stay and let’s work on our marriage. I gave in but I told him I wasn’t gonna put any work in but he reassured me he would do 90% of the work to fix things which I knew that’s not how things work but I let him do all his talking. Anyways fast forward to today he goes to a gas station and a lady is working there that he talked to on Snapchat and he knew I had a problem with because I knew they talked a lot I just didn’t know what they talked about…he tried to reassure me that they only talked about her relationship and nothing more but I never believed that and now I’m in my feelings again. I don’t see our relationship getting better…I feel so much hate in my heart for this man. All he’s done is stepped all on my heart when all I wanted was to be the best wife for him. I never deserved all that hurt.