Burnt out feels like I’m single parenting

Mom of 3 4 and under. A 4 year old 3 year old and 5 month old. I’m a SAHM and husband works. I do 95% of everything at home. Cleaning, cooking, every single night wake up with the baby, I homeschool my 4 year old. I try to make our snacks and food from scratch when I can. Mind you our house stays almost immaculate because I just can’t stand it dirty so I work really hard fighting to keep it clean. His uniform is almost always washed for him even though he leaves it on the floor and doesn’t even bother putting his clothes in the hamper. My husband will help but I don’t feel like he goes out of his way. For example he’ll help clean up after dinner but he’s always complaining about it or in a bad mood. He’ll fold laundry but not consistently. He does work really hard for our family and picks OT. He’s never said no to something we wanted but I just feel like a single parent most of the time. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because of his piss poor attitude with me and the kids. He’s always aggravated always makes everyone feel like a burden. Our baby is an awful sleeper. I’m not exaggerating when I say he wakes up 7,8,9+ times a night and I take care of it every night. He hasn’t woken up with him since he was maybe 7 or 8 weeks old. Doesn’t wake up with him on weekends to let me sleep in in for another hour unless I wake him up and ask but who wants to have to ask their partner for support when the partner knows yours struggling. I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in 5 months. I don’t even have time to read a book or take a shower I feel so burnt out and I’ve expressed this and he seems to acknowledge it and then nothing changes. Today we tried to go out for a fun family outing and on the way back baby was screaming in the car seat. He said a smart comment so I said one back bc in the moment of 30 minutes of baby screaming in the car I just couldn’t hold my tongue back. So we get home he immediately goes to change into comfy clothes and goes poop. Meanwhile I have to pee, 3 year old needs to go potty, dog ate something he wasn’t supposed to while we’re gone, baby is upset and I’m trying to get the older 2 lunch. So he comes out 5 minutes later and tries to help get the kids lunch together. I asked him if he washed his hands because he’s bad about not doing it. He said no. I asked him to please wash them because he just touched the kids food. He threw the strawberries down on the counter, poured 10x the amount of soap he needed on his hands passive aggressively and half assed washed his hands. Then he slammed the cabinet shut and starts saying “if this is how you want to play okay!” I don’t even know what else he said I got so mad. Then he says he’s tired of my attitude. I genuinely had no attitude even though I was up literally all night with the baby. I thought we had a good morning minus the spattle in the car until that point. Yesterday, we had to take our car to get new brakes and it was a late appointment. So instead of me staying at the house with the kids I suggested we all go and walk to the restaurant next door while we wait. I had everything done so that when we got back the kids just needed to put their pajamas on and brush teeth. Coffee was set for the next day, dishwasher running, floors done, pajamas laid out. I figured out how to shower and put some makeup on because I wanted to actually look nice for once, had the kids dressed and ready to go when he walked in the door. I mean I did everything so it was seamless when we got home. So he comes home in a bad mood. He changes and I needed to put my shoes on and go pee. He comes back inside all possy because 3 year old wouldn’t let him put him

In car seat. So I grab my shoes and socks go out to the car barefoot, put his seat belt on and just put my shoes on in the car. Then I said something about it and he says “you knew all day we were doing this why didn’t you prepare”it just hurt my feelings so bad because I thought I had set it up so nice so we could enjoy the evening and not be stressed out when we got home. I don’t even know what to do anymore. He’s a good dad and husband but it’s like if he gets aggravated he can’t control his tongue whether it’s me or the kids. I try to do everything for everyone and I get no support. Both of his parents passed away and the only family I have is my mom but she lives and hour away, works full time and just isn’t very nurturing or helpful when it comes to the kids. I guess I’m just venting