2 years of nothing and I'm feeling sad

2 years ago today I had my last and only ever positive pregnancy test. After 10 days of excitement and fear, my little baby was gone to Heaven. The grief is hitting harder this year than last year. Last year, I knew the giant fibroid had been removed, my husband and I had been cleared to try again and I had just seen my very optimistic and encouraging OB. But another year has passed - of tracking my bbt, using ovulation tests, baby dancing at the right time. Herbs, supplements, cleaning up my diet ... And in addition to grieving the child that didn't make it and the life I would have had now if I had gotten a sticky baby then, I am also afraid that that was it. Perhaps it's just not going to happen for me. It's a painful thought and I'm not ready to give up. I'm just grieving and discouraged. So I'm posting to a bunch of strangers because it's safe and I expect y'all will understand.