Is it unprofessional to talk about your stillbirth at work when someone tells you that the reason they (coworker) yelled at you is because they're having a hard time?

Question

I have a male coworker who is very volatile and known for his temper. Realistically he should be fired. It's abusive and I can't stand working with him. 
Today I went to him and asked him to sign papers he submitted. He said he doesn't have time. I told him that it doesn't have to be right this second, but I need  them by 3pm because I have to send off the statements today. 
He instantly started raising his voice and said  "Yeah I'll get right on that, thank you. Not like I have ten million other things to do today but whatever. You can't just let it slide noooo..." Then he started getting louder and threw his phone down on the desk. "You have to come in here with your PERKY little attitude smiling as you pile on more shit." Then he yelled "Thank you. Thank yoooou!" And slammed the door as he left.
No one else other than reception heard this. I went to our boss and explained what happened and he said "Yeah well we all know he's got a temper and we need to tread carefully."
I said no, this is abuse. I made a reasonable and polite request that realistically, he should have done before he submitted the paperwork anyway. My boss started defending him and talking to me about what I could have done to "mitigate the situation" because apparently my coworker has a lot of personal stuff going on (none of which has ever been communicated to me because it's no ones business). My boss said so I "should think about that because maybe he's not having the best day and he needs some forgiveness". I told him, respectfully, his answer is not acceptable and I am stepping away.
I went straight to HR and said that this abuse is not warranted (no abuse is) but especially today. 
EDIT FOR CLARIFICATION: HR asked what happened today, so I told her that four years ago, I had a stillbirth on April 4th. My baby died suddenly due to a true knot in his cord. I had no idea and went to the ER because he wasn't moving. Unless you've been through it, you have no clue about the trauma.
The lady in HR was very uncomfortable while I was telling her about my stillbirth. I spoke about for maybe 20 seconds. I was hired after it happened and have since had a baby so no one knows about my stillbirth.
Do you think, given everything else, that it's unprofessional to talk about that at work? 
Further edit for clarity: I wasn't intending to tell them about my stillbirth but she asked what happened 4 years ago and yes, I did say "especially not today" which led into that convo.

Accepted Answer

I could be wrong but I think the relevance of her stillbirth is that is was the anniversary of the loss and that’s why she took the abuse particularly “hard” because it was already a tough day, which is what she told HR when directly asked. They wanted to know why that day in particular made it less acceptable to her personally. I don’t think it was brought up without cause/reason. But again I could be totally wrong.

Answer

What was the relevancy/correlation? It comes off as unprofessional because it sounds like it came out of nowhere. I agree with reporting your boss and coworker and it should’ve been just that, you bringing up your still birth, loses sight of that. HR representatives are not therapists so it’s reasonable that she was uncomfortable, it is also a triggering topic. None of this means your trauma/ experience doesn’t matter, but from what you included in your post, it doesn’t seem like that was the correct time/place for it.

Answer

I agree with going to the manager and HR, but you trauma dumped and went off on her when she’s not the one responsible for your coworker’s attitude. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but something traumatic like that isn’t something you talk about unless you know for a fact the other person doesn’t mind talking about it (like they ask questions or bring up the topic first and you also don’t mind talking about it). It would’ve sufficed to just say something along the lines of, “we all go through tough times, but it’s not ok to behave this way, especially in a work environment.” If the boss isn’t firing him and even making excuses for him, I would quit because I wouldn’t want to work for a company that allows its workers to behave however they want and create a hostile work environment. Go where you’re respected.

Answer

His behavior was inappropriate regardless of what he’s going through. And your trauma has nothing to do with this situation, it’s honestly weird you would even bring it up. It’s not relevant to his behavior at all. That’s something you tell a therapist, not HR.

Answer

Going to HR about your coworker was the right thing to do. However it had nothing to do with your personal trauma. I don’t think was the right time to bring it up.

Answer

She asked you answered. I don’t see the problem. It’s true that unless you’ve been through it you don’t know. I’m very sorry. I had a near close experience to a loss last year at 39w. I’m very very sorry for your loss. 
I still have had to go to therapy to deal with it all, without sounding like I’m telling you what to do because it’s not my intention, please consider therapy 
 its good to learn how to deal with our traumas and express our true feelings (those that we don’t feel like anyone gets). It’s very heavy to fight alone.
You have been very strong and it’s hard to relive those days again and again by yourself, especially.
I’m sorry your coworker is such an AH and I’m kinda disappointed on all the people telling you have you have no right to bring it up when it’s yours to talk about it… there’s a huge difference in sharing vs having a therapy session with HR.

Answer

You can tell anyone about your stillborth for any reason. It affects you, daily. People get uncomfortable around big pains because they dont have the capacity to truly understand it and are afraid to tread that same wave with you. 
In the context of the situation, your boss is wrong for not at the very least sending the coworker home-- especially if they have a lot going on, they should go to home to mentally colelct themselves. Tempers shouldnt be tolerated, but exceptions should be made for extenuiating circumstances if they are genuine. 
What you dont want to do is make it into a "who has it worse" equals who is right situation. That undermines your complaint. The fact of the matter is you have been repeatedly mistreated, your concerns ignored, and on an anniversary that is already sensitive you finally had enough.

Answer

He was being an asshole but your story was not relevant to the situation that happened. HR is not going to take anything seriously if both parties are acting based on Private, emotional trauma! All you need to do is say he’s behavior is unprofessional, uncalled for and from where you stand he’s abusing his power and this needs to be deal with because you feel threatened, scared, etc. 
Maybe they can send him to therapy or anger management. If you want things to remain professional, keep it that way

Answer

You did not need to share all that info with HR. What you needed to do was file a complaint against the verbally abusive coworker. That’s it. Your trauma is unrelated.￼

Answer

Going to HR was absolutely the right thing but depending on the size of the company and how they work nothing may come of it. Personally i wouldn't wait for him to be fired as clearly he has an in with the bosses, which is wrong. I would be finding another place to work asap. Regarding what you told HR i do not think it was unprofessional. She didn't have to ask why today she could have left it and what you said was for you to share with whomever you are comfortable with. I don't think you intended to go in there and specifically speak about your experience otherwise you would have said it straight away before explaining the situation that had happened with him. 
I think it is gross the amount of women on here saying you shouldn't use hr as a therapist or should not have mentioned it. You wasn't at all and you can say whatever you like. You can share things about your life with whoever the hell you want. You felt you could answer her question the time she asked. If she felt uncomfortable with what you said that is on her she should not have asked you the question. 
Get out of that toxic workplace as soon as you can as i don't think he will be going anywhere unfortunately. 
Such a shame these forums show people have zero understanding sometimes.

Is it unprofessional to talk about your stillbirth at work when someone tells you that the reason they (coworker) yelled at you is because they're having a hard time?

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