Crying during sex

Last night I cried during sex (not in a good way). He was inside me from behind, and my body froze up. It felt like my body was being violated, and I couldn’t handle him touching me anywhere else. I’ll feel nauseous, and my mind will literally be screaming for it to stop. I’ve been avoiding sex for weeks because of this, until it can’t be avoided. In the past I’ve struggled with this with my spouse, and I’ve told him about it. He’s generally ignored this, and won’t talk about it in depth. Sometimes sex has even felt coercive. He didn’t stop after he saw me crying (edit: he stopped to ask what was wrong, but he eventually wanted help getting off), so I helped him get off, but it all felt so empty. I’m not even sure how he doesn’t know or understand this. He doesn’t seem to mind that I get no pleasure out of it, but I feel guilty because it feels like my fault.

There are things that have made me feel shut off from him, and not much has changed. I’ve also been through some traumatic things with my body as a kid, and some memories are likely suppressed. I still feel like an imposter for claiming that trauma sometimes, so I feel like it’s all my fault. He knows a bit about this, but he’ll continue to ignore it and press for sex.

The hardest part is he’ll be so nice outside of all this, and it weirdly makes it worse for me to see him act like it’s fine. Like I trust him even less for willfully skirting around everything that’s wrong between us. How do I handle this? It’s been going on for a couple years, and it hasn’t gotten any better.