So today I am 12weeks an 1 day I was so happy me an my boyfriend finally got to experience our first sonogram together. I was happy crying hearing the heartbeat for the first. I’m proud of myself for finding housing an getting insurance all by myself. Being 22 I thought I finally was gonna get the chance to be happy. But the nurse left 3 times to get the doctor to finally tell me that I have complications. A Amniotic sac an the baby’s brain isnt fully developing along with one arm an the spine because the sac is crushing him/her so unfortunately I have to terminate the pregnancy. I couldn’t do anything but run away an blame myself. I know it’s not my fault but I can’t help but to think it is, I ran to the bathroom an cried for 30 mins until my boyfriend finally found me. I wanna curl up an just wither away, I feel nothing. No thoughts. No emotions. Just a really bad heartache. I wanna drink the pain away. I wanna face the biggest blunt I ever rolled. I’m tired of being in pain an I believe this was the last straw for me. Just wanted to get this off my chest before i go away but congratulations to all the new mommies I hope you all are healthy an are blessed with love,abundance an prosperity.