Dear mom and dad,

I am done! I am tired of hearing that I am a disappointment a failure, not a woman, because I have not been able to get pregnant! Do you not think I cry to myself? Do you not think when I try to seduce my husband who is so exhausted from working over 60 hours a week and he responds with “not tonight hon” I enjoy the defeat? Every month when I am even a day late the excitement of is now the time enters my brain. Just to be flushed down the drain with that bloody tissue I wipe with. I want to be a mom. I want to hold a child in my belly and feel it move to feel the love that someone officially feels when they find out yes you are creating life! I at no time feel like I’m doing the right thing being 33 years old and still not being pregnant! I do not get excited when I hear from my friends that they are expecting because i get jealous that i don’t have that yet! I am an envious person. When you tell me “oh my friends are grandparents again. Must be nice” I know you are defeated as well. But please think of me. Think of the things I feel. Yes I’m a failure, yes I’m a let down. Please stop reminding me.