Women with multiple children, i have a boob question

Do your boobs get bigger after having your second child? My boobs were average sized pre babies. With my first and only they got HUGE. Then completely deflated, are saggy, wrinkly, and its a huge self confidence dip. I did breastfeed for just under a year. This happened when i was only 21. Im about to be 24 now and still hate my boobs and i used to love seeing myself naked but now i cant say that i do. If i had another baby, and didnt breastfeed, is there a chance id get to keep the big fitted boobs??

Im too embarrassed to wear a bikini and my chest feels like a boy, im not confident during sex anymore like i used to be 😞 not confident in wearing what i really want to wear