Hey i hope all is well with anyone that is reading this. Its 4am and I cant sleep from overthinking. 4 months ago I ended things off with my 2 months situation ship and for some reason I cant get over him. We hadn’t done anything romantic but just Text and call everyday and calling each other cute nick names like a couple. We’re in our late 20s and I know he isn’t good for me so I ended things off and removed him off from all my social medias just to move on easier but I cant help but to miss the bond we share and it’s driving me crazy.

I kept looking back at our old texts and reminiscing bout what we we used to talk everyday. He told me that I was the first person who made him feel like he can start over again after his last relationship back in 2019. Throughout his single life he had been sleeping around which bothered me a lot as it is what I found out myself instead of him telling me. When I confront him about it he was denying it at first until I had proof. That was our last argument which ended off everything. We did give each other a closure though and wished each other happiness. Before I ended things off he was begging me to give him another chance and he knew he fucked up in not giving me the honesty that i wanted and he wanted to come see me but I was too hurt to allow it. So I told him not to and he didn’t. He also said that he wanted to come clean about everything that he did in the past but i was too hurt to even allow it. So we ended things with a closure.

I know it is his past but what bothered me was he is not being honest about it. And how he would be hypocritical and saying how he wouldn’t want to be with a girl who sleeps around and he was afraid that I was one of those girls which I am not. And why it disappointed me alot when I found out he had been sleeping around before me was because he is being hypocritical and it is such a turn off for me. I don’t even know how to explain it but it just sucks.

After a week of ending things off I see him on dating app and was already moving on with some flings and it just hurts me how he moved on so quickly when he swore he was serious about me. If he really wanted us to work out he would’ve made more effort in getting me back but shit this is just so painful to bear with.

Honestly I dont even know what I’m thinking or typing here. It just doesn’t make sense. It’s like I want him but I know he is not good for me. But i miss him so much it’s driving me crazy.

And I know he really wanted to have a future with me because of how much effort he did when we were still talking. But it’s just sad that those effort wasn’t made when things went wrong. Im dying to talk to him but he has someone else (not a serious relationship according to him) and I have too much pride to do it as itd be too embarassing.

From time to time I would post some stories and he would view them on our chatting platform. We don’t talk anymore after things ended but he did actively still watch my stories. Idk how he felt bout me now but before he did told someone that he almost had a chance with me but he fucked up really bad. Which made me think he is serious bout me you know? Like

Ugh I’m going crazy just ranting about it but thanks for listening