How can I talk my bf out of getting a dog?

Question

How can I talk my bf out of getting a dog? He wants to get a family dog and I told him we could as long as it was something kid friendly and low maintenance because we have to be able to take proper care of it and I want a small/medium breed. Well his dad just recently got a Cane Corso (I think that’s what it is, it may be an English Mastiff I’m honestly not sure) but whatever it is it’s is a HUGE breed that comes with a ton of responsibility and now he wants to get a big dog because he loves his dads dog so much. Every time he sends me a listing of a dog he wants me to look at it’s just an enormous, high maintenance breed. We have a 2 year old and I’m pregnant with our second child, he works during the day on weekdays so I told him I was fine with a small-medium sized dog because I could handle that while he’s at work and that we don’t need to bite off more than we can chew by getting a huge dog right now since we’re having another baby but he just don’t listen. Any dog comes with a lot of responsibilities but big dogs are just overall more maintenance. We live in a 2 bedroom house with a not so big yard and big dogs need tonsss of exercise and room to run so a big dog just would not “fit” in our family right now. It would make more sense for us to get a smaller sized dog but at this point I don’t even want to get a dog anymore because he’s being so unrealistic and I don’t want him to get a dog that we can’t properly care for, he clearly isn’t aware of how much responsibility comes with it but he’s head set on it and says he’s GETTING a dog. 🤦‍♀️

Answer

I get he’s excited for a dog but it’s coming off selfish especially since you’re going to be taking care of it majority of the time. You’re pregnant and don’t need the extra stress so compromising to a small dog sounds reasonable, I think he needs to compromise aswell.. either wait to get a bigger dog when you guys have bigger space or settle for the small dog. Small dogs are just as fun! Have you tried suggesting some small dog breeds?

Answer

I personally don’t think the size is something to focus a great deal on its more about the nature and compatibility of the breed with your family, lifestyle and home. Some dogs are just higher maintenance in their diet, exercise, grooming, training/care but all dogs require these things to varying degrees. You two need to discuss and agree on how you will implement things like obedience training and who is going to take the dog to training? Expenses like Vet bills/treatments/pet insurance? Exercise how often, who is responsible etc? Feeding/grooming/exercise? Space and time, do you have the space and time to be raising an animal right now? Is your property puppy proof? It’s approx 15yr commitment so you need to be 100%sure

Answer

According to the ALC, Cane Corsos are good family dogs as they are good with children, highly trainable, and protective. However, they are also a high energy dog and need not only physical exercise but mental exercise as well. It’s important your BF understands that the breed (and individual personality) needs to be a primary factor when selecting a dog. 
I will also add though that a small dog doesn’t equal a calm, apartment friendly dog. Many small breeds need an immense amount of movement and stimulation or they exhibit unwelcome behaviors (Jack Russell terrier or example). Many small dogs are also not good with kids. 
Maybe Google search for which breeds are more apartment friendly or which breeds are the laziest (and then check AKC.org for more details).

Answer

I wouldn’t be with someone who thought it was acceptable to bring an animal into our home without everyone who lived there agreeing to it. I also wouldn’t be with someone who would even consider buying a dog (which I’m assuming since you said he sent you listings). If he shows up with a dog, I would dump him. It would be an absolute deal breaker for me.

Answer

Honestly tell him if he gets a big dog that you aren’t going to be responsible for it. He is choosing a type of dog that only he wants and isn’t thinking about what is best for the family like you. My husband keeps wanting to get a dog and I told him flat out I’m not taking care of a dog, having to take it out and train it, etc. I don’t want that responsibility, so if he gets a dog it’s his dog. Lol. TBH it sounds like your BF is being a little selfish. Good luck 🍀

Answer

A big dog is highly unsuitable for a teo bedroom house especially one with no yard. Your husband is extremely selfish and unconcerned about the dog's happiness, comfort and well-being. Sounds to me like he shouldn't have any type of dog at all because he sounds like an overgrown child who wants a big dog just so that he can be like his dad.

Answer

Im not sure how far along you are, but I actually think now is not the time to get a dog, especially a puppy, at all. Going from 1 to 2 kids is tough momma. Youre going to be pulled in a lot of directions especially as youre stuck nursing or frequently bottling a newborn and your toddler still needing you, and when hes home, youre going to need his time and help so you can manage to get dinner together and your toddler settled and ready for bed. The training is going to fall on you as the one who is home, thats just practically how it works even if he has intention to do the care,they need to be taken out frequently by whoever is home and you need to be able to stop what youre doing and do that until the dog is older. If youre early and due in 7 months then the dog should be potty trained by then, but now youre gonna be stuck with exercising the dog or your partner taking time away from helping you and your kids to do so, if not the dog can get destructive and now gets disciplined or rehomed unfairly. If youre very early in your pregnancy then *maybe* a small breed would work if it's a small fenced yard you can just open the door quickly for the dog after it's properly trained. If youre like 6 months pregnant I would say absolutely do not get a dog right now. If hes adamant about wanting a big dog,I would say then he needs to wait a bit until baby is closer to age 6 months-1 year old when baby is a bit more independent and on a schedule and youll need a 2nd pair of hands slightly less. It sucks to not get what we want when we want it, but that comes with the territory of parenthood and he may just need to accept that.

Answer

On the fr like deadass legit just show up home one day with a Chiweenie or fullbred Dachshund. They are the best family companions.
I have a toy manchester terrier chiweenie mix and shes the cut3st thing. Shes the size of a toy terrier.  I got her as a puppy so she would grow up with my daughter. Literally sissies.

Answer

I actually went through this with my ex. We had a dog together and he wanted another one for hunting. Long story short I folded and we ended up with three big dogs total. He put an effort in at first to give them what they needed but over time lost interest in them. We had a baby together. That sweet baby ended up being a high needs baby. My ex and I broke up. He started out taking one of the three dogs with him but ended up spending more time at the bar when not working than with the dog. The neglected dog tore up his apartment. I took the dog back because he would have sent the dog to the pound if I hadn’t. As a single mom it was hard giving all three dogs enough exercise on top of taking care of a special needs child. I regret folding to my ex. That wasn’t okay of me. One dog was enough. It wasn’t fair to the dogs! I love my dogs but I didn’t do right by them taking them in the first place. My ex now has three new dogs with his new wife. He’s had 9 dogs total in his lifetime and never raised one to old age. I wish I’d known this about him before adopting any dogs with him. But even though I didn’t know this, the signs of unrealistic expectations about owning dogs was there. I shouldn’t have listened to his unrealistic Nonsense. I tell my child that we ask ourselves three things when considering adopting any animal. 1) what are the animal’s needs? 2) can I meet those needs? 3) can I provide a forever home to this pet? There’s far too many dogs in shelters being put down because no one wants them. I love my animals dearly but they deserved more exercise in their lifetimes. I could have handled it with one dog but three was a lot. I should have set better boundaries, for the sake of the dogs.

Answer

Send him listings of French Bulldogs

How can I talk my bf out of getting a dog?

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