Day two of trying to get my husband to spend time with us

I posted yesterday about my husband but today I'm taking notes.

Our daughter woke up and I have been with her since 7am. We went to brunch alone because my husband got up at 8:00 and was just going to play a quick game online. I said ok. I reminded him we were doing brunch at 10am. At 9:30am, I said I'm leaving for brunch. Will you meet us there? He said he was just signing off. He'd be ready by the time I put our daughter in the car. He wasn't. I told him it was now 9:40 and I was leaving, are you coming or not? He said he'd meet us there.

I waited almost 25 minutes to order brunch. I texted him and he said he was on his way and would be a few minutes. He never showed. I ate alone. I then texted him at 11:15 that we were going to the waterfront for a walk and he was welcome to join us. No answer. I sent a text at 11:45 that I was taking our daughter for a swim and we'd be at the YMCA at noon. He said sounds good, see you there. I took our daughter for a nice walk, and at noon, I asked him if he was coming to the YMCA. No answer.

I went to the YMCA and we swam for a half hour. I'm now at home and feeding my daughter before she goes for a nap. My husband is still online gaming. I texted him what happened to brunch and swimming, and he says, "Oh I forgot". I asked him how the fuck he forgot when I literally reminded him, and he says I was nagging so he didn't want to do it anymore. I told him I don't know what to do with him. He suggested we go for a nice walk later once he does some work. I told him I'll believe it when I see it.

I told him our daughter will sleep until 2ish, then once she wakes up I'm going to go do groceries and errands if he isn't ready. He said that if I had some patience, he'd be willing to go for a walk but not until he's done working. I asked when that would be and he said "later". I told him he was supposed to be done gaming by 9:30am, almost 4 hours ago. He could have done so much work in that time. He says he just isn't ready to work. I told him that's his problem, not mine. He chose to game all day instead of work. He says that he wants to spend time with us but I told him he has had all day to do so and instead he's chosen to game.

I told him that I think he needs to grow up. I seriously think he has a gaming addiction as well. I've encouraged him to see a counsellor or therapist but he says I'm overreacting and that he's stressed out from work and I'm not helping either.

I'm just so done being treated this way. He's like a roommate instead of a partner and dad. Yes, he is wonderful those few minutes he spends with our child but I see now how I fight tooth and nail for those precious few moments. I told him that something has to give here and he says I'm being unfair. I told him that this is getting ridiculous and we should maybe look into counselling. He says that's being ridiculous and that "things will get better once she's older and I can actually do stuff with her".

So I'm going to continue to take notes and screenshots of our conversations so that maybe he starts to get it. It is awful being around him and feeling so alone.

Update: it's now 5:30 and he is still gaming. I've started supper and I'm just so sad by his behavior. I've been to my errands and when I asked to talk to him, he groaned and said, "Not this again." I said fine, and I texted him that when he's done gaming, we need to sit down and actually chat. He texted back that "You need to realize that your expectations are unrealistic. I work 45 hour weeks. I'm not going to come home and instantly want to see you. I need a few hours to unwind from my day. I also don't want to spend my weekends with a screaming baby. My weekends are my only time off. You have the next 6 months off. When she's older it will get better but you have to stop comparing what you do to what I do."

Yeah... That statement alone and the fact I have it all on text? I think my future counsellor and divorce lawyer will have some pretty big feelings about him. I will never regret having my amazing daughter, but her birth meant the man I once knew and loved was lost.