Trying but not trying

My husband and I have started trying, but not trying for a second baby...if that makes sense lol. I know I'm ovulating, but I haven't been actively charting to make certain. We're just going with the flow, I guess.

I have a little over two weeks until my period, so I'm trying to keep myself busy and relax about it. But this waiting is the most terrifying and exciting thing! I just want to know now! Lol

But it's also scary, because in my past, 12 years before I was married, I had two miscarriages and then with our son, I had HELLP Syndrome. The dream birth is a home birth, but I know there's also that possibility of getting HELLP again. It's small, but still there. So I'm just praying that everything will be okay if I am.