So last night we were celebrating my brothers birthday. We were drinking. My dad was drinking quite a lot. He randomly asks my brother in law if he thinks my 2.5 year old is “special”? She is behind in speech and some fine motor skills, but we have her in programs for both and she is actually progressing very quickly.

His reasoning for asking my BIL this he says, is bc two of his siblings are teachers. He has no kids of his own. His nephews are very advanced tho and were very early with everything.

My dad was saying maybe if my daughter had dif parents she wouldn’t be delayed. This upset me so much and I started crying in front of everyone. I am not a cryer so this was, and still is very embarrassing to me.

Also his nephews get watched by their grandparents probably half the time. They are their child care while they work, and the kids stay the night at their grandparents all the time too. The grandparents are always taking them out to do something, like going to a museum etc. I think that’s great, nothing against his siblings for getting help of course. But we aren’t so lucky to have that extra help. My husband and I work opposite shifts and there is a couple hour overlap while I work remotely with my daughter. I’ve always felt guilty having to do that but she is really great at entertaining herself during those hours and knows I am working, so when I’m off work I dedicate my full attention to her, and she gets excited bc she knows that’s our time to play together

I know we are amazing parents, we have her in early intervention programs and are really working with her to try and help her progress. And like I said, my parents don’t watch our daughter hardly ever. I can probably count on my fingers the amount of times they’ve had her without my husband or I there, and most of them were for fertility appointments my husband and I both had to be at

Oh and my dad is retired and lives just a couple mins away.. he knows our work situation and how I feel guilty working for a couple hours when I have my daughter, but he doesn’t offer to watch her. Then he makes these remarks.

He doesn’t see the progress she’s been making somehow! Yesterday before all this, I was telling my husband how exciting it is to see her improving so much. Every day it seems she’s doing/saying new things. And honestly when my parents visits or when we visit, my dads drunk and doesn’t remember. He isn’t around her enough to know

Deep down I know nothing is really “wrong”, she just needs a little extra help than most kids. But even if something was, why would you ask that question, and not even to me… to my BIL in front of everyone

He hugged me after and kind of started crying himself saying we are amazing parents. But still, him to ask that question in front of everyone just upset me so much. Like he’s implying it’s our fault she’s delayed? Like we are negligent and not doing anything about it, or other people would be “better” parents for her? I know he was drunk but that must be how he really feels.

Anyway I guess I’m just venting. I can’t stop thinking about it ☹️