Maybe even help with what to say.

To keep a long story short. My 8 almost 9 year old daughter MIGHT be losing her hearing. This was discovered last year with the school nurse (February- March 2022) and I took her to get 2 different opinions. She failed the 1st opinion and was referred to an ENT with a Dr. In pediatric Auditory.... otolaryngologist. They ran extensive testing and said that her hearing was fine and that most kids her age fail the test because they either didn't understand the instructions or sometimes their minds just wonder off during the test. She sees it happen a lot.

Well I was completely distraught! I called my mom to talk to her about it and to cry because I definitely didn't want to do that in front of my daughter. She IMMEDIATELY makes the situation about her. I understand that as a grandmother she has her thoughts, feelings, and emotions about it as well. ((The problem I have/had is she has always been this way. For most of my childhood years, teenage years, and definitely as an adult. Everything is always about her. No matter what it is.)) As I was speaking and saying that I wasn't sure how to feel and that we'd have to wait a year for another follow up..she cuts me off and proceeds to talk about herself (something completely unrelated) but then says that I needed to start taking them to church and if I didn't she was going to. I wouldn't have ever had an issue with her taking them to church if they hapoen to be with her when she wants to go but that I didn't appreciate how she said it to me or even saying it at all. And I politely told her this. I told her that as their mother, I'll decide if I want to take them to church. (I'm a believer but we stopped attending church years ago...just a side note..not important) The next morning she calls me to tell me that she didn't appreciate me saying that to her and that she would understand if I said it to their dad (I have 2 daughters) and his family who is never around. ((Anytime I stand up for myself or tell her I didn't like something she said or did, regardless how nice I am about it or even when I am upset...she will bring up something I've confided in her with and throw it in my face even though what she throws in my face is always unrelated to the issue at hand))...

Well....my daughter has failed yet 2 more hearing test and her 1 year follow up is this coming Tuesday (5/2/23). I immediately broke down last night after both girls went to bed. And during this crying session, I figured I'd call my mom and vent to her but I then quickly remembered what happened last year. So this time I am thinking about not telling her anything until I am ready to or if my daughter wants to. Knowing my mother, she's going to be upset about not being told right away ((she has issues with feeling entitled to giving me permission for things I do...I understand parents won't always approve of things their kids do even with their adult children however, this is more of a "Why didn't you tell me..So I cam decide what's best to do?!" type of situation))

Honestly, the anxiety of even talking to her about things has caused me to back away from our relationship a lot over this past year. Due to these exact behaviors and always being criticized and minimized by her. She's also used my words as her own 2x now when I expressed that I feel like she didn't like me and that because of her attitude, I don't call or reach out anymore unless she does. I never intended to make her feel bad when I opened up but I've gotten tired of not being heard or respected.

Whewww, so..I'd like for her to know after my daughter, my little family, and I (by myself) have had time to process this...all dependent upon the results of her tests on Tuesday. Because I know what she's going to say and do.. I want to be prepared ahead of time. Probably sounds dumb but I've been practicing this morning (alone, LOL) what it is I would want to say and just can't find the words.

Sounds so silly to be 33 years old and have to practice how to stand up for myself against my mom. Lord!!

Any advice, something I can work on saying?

Thanks for reading ♥️