Stressed and tired 😴

I'm tired.

I remember this phase from the first time. Nearing a year with our second now and I feel the complete exhaustion.

Im a worse wife and friend and mother. I'm in complete survival mode and I push everyone away.

My only comfort is knowing, it gets better. It did last time and it will again. But it'll be a while.

The baby is everywhere. I miss the oldest. We have no daycare for the baby yet. I have to return to work after summer. I don't want to. It's full time and my husband's job just moved. I can't see how we're gonna make things work out. Or we could, if I was comfortable with leaving my baby in daycare from early morning to late afternoon. But I'm not. I want to be with her in her waking hours for crying out loud!

I'm stressed. I've neglected myself. I feel uncomfortable in most of my clothes as if they don't fit me anymore. And some of them just literally doesn't fit me anymore. I did grow and birth two humans after all.

I'm slowly falling apart.

But I've been here many times. I'll make it this time as well. Somehow. At some point. But right now everything just sucks. I don't even wanna go to bed which is saying a lot as sleeping is usually my coping strategy!

What a mess this is.

But I got stuff off my chest.

Thanks for listening 🙏

110 views • 3 upvotes • 6 comments

COMMENT (6)

Ar

Posted at
I recently put my baby in daycare at 16 months but she is only there 2 times a week and for 5 hours the most. I didn’t want too either but I like it because they have an app where they send you pictures throughout the day and what time they sleep , change diapers and what they eat. Can you try to check for daycares with cameras or have her there for a little and then have a family member watch her after ?

Ta

Tara • May 6, 2023
What allergy issues do you have that they couldn’t address in that spot?

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🦭 • May 6, 2023
And unfortunately the grandparents live too far away or works 😏

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🦭 • May 6, 2023
I'm from another country. I trust the day ares here completely. But she isn't signed up until 1/7. We got a spot offered Thursday, but we have allergy issues regarding that spot so we're waiting until we can get another offer. In any case she won't start before summer.

Ar

Posted at
The first 2 years with a child is so stressful because their so small, needy and fragile so I understand hope things get better.

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🦭 • May 6, 2023
The firdt two years are indeed hard! Some things get better as the near a year, but their own frustrating over not being able to move around as they want or communicate what they want is difficult 😅