I Think I Am Going Crazy...

So a little backstory...my husband and i have been married a year but together 19 years. He is 11 years older than me and i was 18 when we started dating. I was a collegebound overachiever who loved school and had a future planned but I fell for him and just kept staying. Things have never just been ok the entire relationship. He wasnt able to pay bills or rent so 2 years in we ended up moving in with his mom. And that lasted 15 years. He has had a business but never helped me pay bills for the 15 years. He wasnt really doing much business to be honest. I would come home and he would still be sleeping. I worked a full time job getting 55 hours a week minimum to support us. I brought groceries home and cooked every day after work even after she retired. He finally proposed to me in 2021 after 17 years together. And i got pregnant from our celebration sex....so we got married a month before my son was born. I feel dumb for it. I went through horrible postpartum depression and quit my job when it was time to go back from maternity leave. I took some money out of retirement to help pay bills and be off work a while. Again...I feel dumb. For the first 7 months i was off i paid for everything still..and then at 8 months postpartum he finally made a choice to redesign his business and pay the bills. The first time he paid for groceries I cried at the checkout. But his business isn't exactly thriving, I am almost out of money and he doesn't want me going back to work. He wants me to go to school and get a profession. Yes that would be nice but we need money. I brought up all the years of not helping and he said that I never asked him to. On our first anniversary last week he got mad because I went in the bedroom and shut the door thinking he was coming with me. I always shut the door out of habit because i go to bed before him. He went and got drunk in the basement until 530am and I slept alone. Crying. He doesn't change diapers. The last he changed was December 6th. I know i am a stay at home mom but a little help would be nice. I am wirh our son from sun up to sun down and get up for diapers and bottles as needed. Or just if he needs cuddles. And I love every second of it. But I feel like an unpaid full time employee. Every time we fight he talks about divorce and holds it over me. We go to parenting courses to earn formula and diapers etc. He sees a male mentor and i see a female. He got upset because my mentor suggested he take our son every once in a while for class. He said they won't get anything done chasing.him around constantly. But i need a.damn break every once in a while. Am I being unreasonable? Am I going crazy? What should I do???