Is this weird?

My kids’ grandfather ended his own life last summer. He was one of the closest people I had and he was there for me through being abused by his son and he had my back over his own son’s.

I have been feeling extra sad about him today and couldn’t tell why. I also carry a lot of guilt because I was the only one home when he did and heard what I later learned was his body fall lifeless to the ground.

I been seeing a TT trend where it’s basically saying that that person sent you someone and today I made one saying that he watches over the kids and made a post about how I love him. Then my friend randomly gave me some circus peanuts, which were his favorite. Then I started to cry over him soon after, since the peanuts were a big reminder of him too, and I all of a sudden realized that today is actually is his first heavenly birthday. This was all in a 3 hours.