Last Night some really traumatic stuff happened with my boyfriend cause of me and he wanted to do something to hurt me but not hurt me so he asked if he could fist me I said it was fine but he tried it last time and stopped at 4 fingers caused it hurt this time I said it was fine cause I deserved it and he did it and while he was going in I just about screamed and he still continued it when he pulled his hand out I started crying my eyes out it hurt so bad now I feel like I can't face him