Feeling sorry for myself

As I write this looking down on my 6 month old daughter sleeping (she's 6 months tomorrow) I feel utterly ridiculous writing this and feeling the way I do.

We'd love to have another baby soon as we can (I'm 39 at the end of the year) but my period has come again today and each month it comes,I'm getting really down on myself and inconsolable for a day or two.

I know it seems silly, but I can't help but get upset. I'm only tracking via ovulation sticks like I did when I fell pregnant last year and getting those smiley faces so trying to time everything......I didn't have any symptoms last year so it's not like I can even think "oh I feel the same as when I fell pregnant last time".

I'm also wary as next year could be the final time we have a bit family holiday to the place we all love as my parents are getting older. I was pregnant when we went last year but my dad has already said he doesn't want me to be pregnant for next year so I can make the most of it, which I fully get. So the timeframes aren't helping either and knowing we may have to stop trying for 9/10 months.

Sorry for the ramble,just looking for anyone out there who can just please tell me I'm normal....I feel I'm not coping too well with not being pregnant :(