Your father loves you. He misses you. He feels guilty that he cant see you more often. He felt horrible and was so worried about you when you got in trouble.. and trouble.. and trouble again.

He has sent letters and cards with no response.. he has called and called and called... and still no response from you.

The only time you call him is when you want to get away from your mother and get away with murder so you call and want to visit.

We Move Heaven And Earth to get you here... I voluntarily submit to a level 2 background check and get fingerprinted because you are on house arrest.. I take legal responsibility for you while you are here otherwise the judge would not allow you a pass to come.. I have to call your parole /probation officer EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE HOUSE... I do all of this because I love you and I know your father would kill to see you. It is a lot to other peoplebut I have been in your life since you were very young and I feel that finally being able to get you.. we may be able to help you.. to guide you.. to show you that someone actually cares about you.

The times your mother has allowed you to visit have been few and far between but we have always wanted you, always reached out, always tried.

This visit has been extremely hard. I AM LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU DO WHILE YOU ARE HERE... you are 16.

I know what 16 is.. I was there myself..

No, I was not allowed to be "out of control" or allowed to be disrespectful... EVER... But I remember what 16 was like.

You are using your father's guilt against him and for your own gain.

You want cigarettes. . You beg him to buy them.. he tells you no.. you have the BALLS to say to him, "My mother was right.. you really dont give a shit about me."

You want to drink alcoholic beverages. . He tells you no.. you say, "I have been drinking for a while.. you are not even a real dad.. just get me a bottle of wine."

You asked your cousin if he could get you some weed.. when he tells you no.. you tell him, "I cant believe you all let that white bitch (that would be me) tell you what you can and can not do"

Your father and I have fought more in the past 3 weeks that you have been here BECAUSE of all these things.. you care about no one but yourself.. and you barely care about yourself...

I am just lost.. I know that when you leave, again, you will not talk to your dad. You wont answer telephone calls, you wont answer letters or texts or emails...

You get to leave and then call when you want somwthing or to get away.. and I will be here. .. I'll be here to pick up the peices again.. as I always have.