Do I have a problem?

So, I think there's a good chance I may have emotional dependency disorder.

Me and my partner have been together for 10 years, we got together when we were 14. 2 years into the relationship I found out he had been talking to his ex girlfriend behind my back. I decided to forgive him and move on from this.

But now 10 years down the line, I have noticed a pattern in my behaviour.

I am overly anxious when I don't know where he is or haven't heard from him for a while (for instance one time he was at work and left his phone in the van) I was in tears worrying thinking someone had abducted him and murdered him. I experienced the same thing when my mum met her fiancé. He was from another state, around 6 months into the relationship she decided to go to him instead of him coming to her. I hadn't heard from her in a while and automatically thought he had kidnapped her and I would never see her again.

I always question if he wants to be with me, if he's cheating on me, if he really loves me. I need constant reassurance. This is draining for me so god knows how my partner feels.

I find it extremely distressing when I have to imagine what my life would be like if we broke up. Even when my partner has wanted time alone after an argument I can't cope with that, which leads to another argument. I genuinely don't see how I could be happy alone?

Has anyone ever experienced this? Should I speak to someone about it?

For context I think the fear of being alone is linked to the sudden death of my dad when I was 12, I think I'm afraid to feel how I did then. I have blocked a lot of this trauma out.